Day 631

Went round to see C in the evening, played darts.

And now the 1993 pontification: 1993 was the Year of Fear - I seemed to catch it from the general crime kerfuffle that started with James Bulger.

A year ago I had yet to be totally disillusioned with the language library. Now I'm still unemployed. My sole hope, really, for 1994 is to end this interregnum and get something proper and fulfilling to do. Everything can be fine.

Day 630

Just one more day of 1993 after this. Things have been very slow recently. But despite all that I feel a lot better than I did a year ago, in most ways. I feel I must sort something out in 1994. On April 14th I'll've been on the dole as long as I was at uni.

Sad reflection. Still, if I'm still unemployed when my birthday comes, I'll be 24 and get £10 pw extra. Silver lining etc. Still, as I said, despite all, things are better and things can be better still in 1994, with a bit of luck.

Day 629

Time seems to be going really slowly since Christmas. Walked round to the Post Office to cash my Giro, went into town. Put £55 in the building society - up to £214 now.

Went to the library and found the UK 3rd edition Basic D&D book. Noted down the differences to my 2nd edition - mostly trifling, spell books for M-U's for example and carried treasure for humanoids; the latter must've been left out of the 2nd ed., because type Q is listed in the 2nd but never used.

Day 628

Snow lying this morning, more snow later: was rather warm though, so most of it had melted by the evening. Read more of Dorothy Wordsworth's journal.

Day 627

Felt Christmas beginning to wear off and the days of the week reasserting themselves.

Lovejoy and Last of the Summer Wine specials in the evening.

Day 626

To parents' again for Boxing Day dinner.

In the evening listened to a prog about Newman & Baddiel on tour on R1, put up my new Tolkien postcards.

Read some of Dorothy Wordsworth's journal - it's eleven years to the day since I started diarising. Wish I'd had something better to record this year, still D.W. didn't seem to get up to much: being begged from, gardening, going for walks and thinking about 'Wm.'.

I did enjoy last night - 'it seemed that one or other of the girls was the sister of one of the officers and that everything was taking place with the utmost propriety.'

Day 625

CHRISTMAS DAY. Round to parents' for Christmas dinner. In the evening M rang up inviting me to her brother's friend's house, where we spent a cheery 2 hours playing Botticelli.

Day 624

CHRISTMAS EVE. Woke up with a hangover to a Today item on the vodka industry in Russia.

Nasty gang rape in Catford, can't have been much of a gang, 30 of them ran off when disturbed by one person.

Finished X2 Castle Amber, most characters 6th level now and the thief 7th level. I got that module eleven years ago tomorrow, at Christmas 1982 when I got D&D. Be great if I could get a job in that sector (games) in 1994. Ah well. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Day 623

Christmas Eve Eve. I've always liked Dec. 23, lots of anticipation and no anticlimax.

Day 622

Went round to my parents', fixed kitchen stools, put up 2 curtain rails. Gave the Christmas Waiting For God a watch.

Day 621

Shortest day (I think). Listened to a Bob tape D sent me in summer 1992 for the first time: some truly terrible versions of his best songs. That's Bob for you.

Day 620

Drew £20 out of the building society for glasses and Christmas, first time I've had to withdraw since August. Collected glasses, vision much improved at distance.

Watched Newman & Baddiel's Christmas thing in the evening.

Day 619

Last effective Sunday of the year, next week being Boxing Day. Very dark and stormy about 2.30 today.

To town tomorrow for the opticians.

Day 618

Got a huge 1½ litre bottle of vodka to see me through the Festive Season - official start tomorrow.

Having got the ephemeris from the library made a list of Pluto position, for doing people's transits.

The opticians rang; I'll collect my glasses on Monday. Another £20 to find.

Day 617

Dark day weather-wise, rain in the morning, lights on next door at 2 pm. It is the darkest week of the year after all. It'll be Christmas Eve in a week.

Perhaps 1993 has been very productive: a lot of old worries off my mind. Perhaps the terrible lethargy that set in in June 1989 is finally clearing? That would be an achievement.

Final episode of Planet of the Daleks tonight, great stuff. The Green Death promised for the New Year, acquiring new topicality what with THORP etc.

Day 616

Always used to feel the 16th was a Christmas milestone.

To the doctor's. He said the headaches were either eyestrain or 'stress' headaches: he confirmed my impression that unemployment is stressful. Cashed my Giro on the way back.

Went into town, put down £20 at the optician's towards £40 for new glasses, so much for 'safe in our hands'.

Went to Masson's where we used to buy RPG stuff, found it had been demolished. That's how much the RPG craze has passed. Came back and finished B2. Total characters killed: 72.

T phoned and invited me up for the New Year but I declined because of the drug dealers and suchlike they mix with, not that I said so of course.

Day 615

Continued campaigning - lost about 70 characters now with one second-level magic-user left alive and the module nearly finished. Is it supposed to be so lethal?

During this current D&D phase the career thing has been neglected (not that it makes much difference) - could leave it till January now, with Christmas only 10 days away.

Day 614

More campaigning. About 50 characters gone now, one reached 2nd level!

Went round to my parents', put up extra Christmas decorations, string for cards etc. (Not for me - I haven't sent a card since 1987, except one to E last year).

Harry Enfield's last year's Christmas show was on again, quite funny.

Day 613

Gave The Keep on the Borderlands (B2) a solo run-through. Lost about 30 1st-level characters so far! Went into town and signed on, then to have my eyes tested.

Came back, got the Christmas Radio Times, really makes it feel like Christmas! More Keep in the afternoon, mercury soap play on R4, documentary about false claims about cosmetics in the evening.

Day 612

Campaigned again. Put the Christmas tree up in the afternoon. Listened to The Greek Interpreter. Another good day for a Sunday.

Day 611

Having seen in a media directory in the library that White Dwarf was still going, looked for it in Smiths: it appears to have been merged with the Citadel miniatures catalogue. Warhammer stuff only. It's 10x worse than when I stopped getting it seven years ago, which is pretty bad. But found Dragon and bought that: much better, D&D support too though there seem to've been rules changes and the 'Known World' map has been thoroughly detailed. Was interested so bought it. Did some more campaigning when I got back.

Day 610

Up bright and early, which gave me a peculiar (unfounded) sense of purpose. Nice day though.

I've been unemployed over 29 months now, can't say it's added to my self-esteem, especially with M, S etc apparently leading such useful and productive lives. Time has been going very fast recently - can't believe it's Friday again, the 10th in a row I haven't been out. Some sort of record?

I have however now done 6 weeks' Temperance, which is also some sort of record. But however encouraging all this is, it just points out the lack of advancement in the last 2½ years, despite the false start at the Workshop.

Day 609

The tree across the road had been blown over in the night. Wind abated in the day.

They passed the 6-hour Sunday trading option. Hope it makes Sundays less dull, eh?

Day 608

Watched a bit of vacuous daytime telly. Wind got a bit breezy at noon, fresh at 3pm, very strong at 6.30pm.

Sunday trading vote tonight, religious fanatic option seen off 3 minutes ago but liberation still not assured. Will Orwell's 'gloomy Sundays' become a thing of the past? Hope so.

Day 607

They cut down a 250-year old chestnut tree in East London today for the new M11 link road. What a disgrace. It took 200 police to drag away all the protestors, wish I could've been there. I will never use that road.

Day 606

Always used to feel like the threshold of Christmas, Dec. 6th.

Practised with Page Plus, getting quite handy now.

In the evening listened to the R4 play (colonialism), watched Panorama (racial attacks).

Day 605

Doesn't December go fast these days? Used to last about 10 years when I was a kid. Up at 9.15, listened to Alistair Cooke, went round to my parents' and helped my dad repair the shed roof.

Beautiful clear sunny weather, chilly in the shade though. Watched Last of the Summer Wine in the evening, Repetition of the Same old Jokes more like. Still got a sort of charm though. Does the constant out-of-control rolling down hills symbolise Mother Earth's power to excite and invigorate even old men who are scared by their women?

Another quite good day for a Sunday.

Day 604

Watched The Bill (I think we'll take watching The Bill as read in this diary from now on).

Day 603

West End Girls playing now, brings back memories eh?

Day 602

Up early. Found bits of the day rather slow but on the whole it's worth it if I sleep better. Good R4 prog about WW1 executions in the afternoon, revealed injustice.

It's two months today since I last went out for the night. Still, something good may happen. At least I'm not working at the language library this year!

Day 601

Watched Star Trek. Being Wednesday, the evening was devoid of other media entertainment: played darts.

First BBC Christmas trail today. It starts so early nowadays, etc.