Day 1361

Spent most of the day anticipating the party. Tidied up the room. Got a lift from C at 7.10 in a very foggy night. Talked to Natalie, located myself in the social situation. Lots of people came, including three from the course.

Natlie mentioned that before she went out with her boyfriend she had a girlfriend! 'Er - good for you, I say' I said. But what a surprise! She said it could only be good, because it increased the number of potential partners.

By 1.30 I was drunken over my might, and having run out of drink ate the special confectionery Una gave me last time I was at T's. This was a mistake - I had a spinning head for about an hour. Luckily the relaxant effect worked and about 3am I passed out, apparently, upright on the settee. Natalie woke me up at 3.55 and guided me to a shakedown, after which I knew no more until...

Day 1360

Didn't get up till 10.52, somewhat lazily. Rang the library to renew the X-Windows book, then rang Natalie and heard a characteristically extrovert tape exhorting callers to 'leave us lots of lovely messages'. Left a message beginning: 'This is a lovely message from J...

Didn't win the Lottery, again. Lot of sound and fury about that Emma Nicholson tory defecting to the Liberals. (Major down to +5, counting Richard Body and with two by-elections pending) There were none of these defections before the last election!

Day 1359

Solved the expression evaluator problem last night, was typing it in in the morning when M rang, asking questions about Linux. Took my book round, ended up driving up to Dulchester to go to the PC World. Got a big HTML book at 10% off for the studies assignment.

Borrowed M's MIDI sequencer - excellent. Used it all afternoon, went back to M's at 6 for a big curry. Watched Alan Partridge's Christmas special.

The snow that fell on Boxing Day evening is still lying - very cold, about -5°C, ever since then, though it warmed up to -1°C this afternoon.

Day 1358

Read more of Software Engineering - a very boring book. Messed about with expression evaluators all day - now I understand the recursive method I quite like it, but I still think the operator-stack method is more elegant. Made some progress anyway.

Downloaded a crippled versh of a sequencer - quite good. Rang M and left a message asking if I could come and look at the sequencer prog she bought.

Felt a bit tired and nervous due to all the Christmas drink. Nearly decided not to go to Natalie's party but decided it would be useful on the course-social front. Hope it turns out OK.

Day 1357

C asked me to get him a printer ribbon, took the opportunity to put a Christmas cheque in the building society.

Worked on a logic parser (project idea) in the afternoon, read Software Engineering, took the ribbon round to C's and played darts with him.

In the evening round to M & E's. M's brother was there and we recalled my New Year party at the end of 1986 at great length.

Was invited back for Friday!

Day 1356

BOXING DAY. Fairly standard Boxing Day. Snow in the evening. Went out in the morning to buy a lockable box.

Got a bit of post-Christmas flatness, but a bit lifted by new Hancock tapes and planning for the new year party.

Day 1355

CHRISTMAS DAY. Up about 9.30, went round to my parents'. Got the X Files Companion and a Latin poetry book. Also Red Dwarf out-takes video and the Dubstar CD. The presents I gave them were much appreciated too.

Day 1354

Went up to the newsagent for double Rizla supplies. Bit strange Christmas Eve being a Sunday, what with the Sunday papers etc.

Borrowed mum's car and went out for a drive round the country lanes. Enjoyed the general ambience of Christmas Eve. Taped a lot of Christmas telly.

Well: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Day 1353

D took a long time to wake up so I watched telly till she did at 11 am. We left about one. She really likes it in Eastern Europe.

I was very anxious on the way home but it was all due to the drink, so, knowing the cause, I felt better.

S rang up after tea and at 8.30 she and her fiancé came round. We went to the Hare and Hounds near Great Saffield - very good. Had an extensive conversation about everything, more or less.

Day 1352

Got the 1424 with no ticket trouble. At T's, gave her her present, which she liked, and she gave me a piece of rose quartz crystal (like in The Grey Prince) which apparently brings luck in love.

D turned up and we we went to the pub for a couple of pints, then back to T's for a big buffet spread and loads of wine. Una was there too, a good time was had by all - we watched the ep of Red Dwarf where they appear to discover they've been playing a computer game for 5 years. Excellent time.

Day 1351

Borrowed mum's car and went to Dulchester in easy stages (stopped to roll a fag at Siding Hay). Got sidetracked into trying to make the lab PC mount the network drive. After lunch went back to the lab and found how to make the Sun prompt show the current directory: you alias cd to change the environment variable prompt to the contents of the environment variable that stores the current directory. So I sorted that at last.

Got off campus about 1.35, drove into Dulchester and checked the location of Natalie's house for the party, home by 2.30.

M phoned, and as I still had the car I gave her a lift to the sorting office so she could post Christmas cards, then to Sainsbury's where she bought turkey, sprouts, and all the appropriate stuff. Didn't realise how expensive Christmas was! M said something rather touching, when I confirmed I planned to go to Natalie's party: 'New Year'll be a bit boring without you around'.

Came back, made cheese straws for tomorrow, shaved, out again to M's in a damp, misty evening. Watched Carry On Columbus and talked. I suggested (and M agreed) that in recent years we'd had much better times on New Year's Day than on its eve.

Left at eleven, came home and spent a long time replying to two e-mails from T. Oddly she used the same 'Why thank you, kind lady' phrase that Natalie did in her last message.

Day 1350

At home today - found it rather strange after all that work. Typed up some X-Windows notes, read Software Engineering. Rationalised the souvenirs files to Pre Lowlands, Lowlands, Post Lowlands and Effolk..

A disturbing e-mail from T about insecure e-mail at her end. Someone had seen it being printed. I never thought they had networked printing! All odd stuff goes by surface mail from now on.

Venus observed in the evening.

Day 1349

A good day. Up at nine, in by 10.20. I was in the lab when in walked Natalie. 'Aren't you ever going home?' she asked. When she'd gone I e-mailed her to explain why I might not make it to her party. Then I went off to have some dinner and then to the bar for a Citrus Spring.

Later on xbiff went off with an e-mail from N. saying '...there's always the couch'. I thanked her gratefully. Not bad considering she didn't know me very well.

I walked along the corridors and to the library thinking 'Yes!' Got Tacitus in translation and a Latin syntax.

When I got to the edge of campus on the bus, it was as though a strong, young spring sun had shone through the grey winter skies to illuminate with vernal warmth the nondescript industrial purlieus and misty estuary valley.

Home by four at a bit of a loose end, because I'd finished the science exercise while I'd been agonising over the party. Fear must've sharpened my wits.

E-mail from T replying to my request for speculation on why men seem to've stopped fancying me. She said I 'scuttled about as if no-one should notice me'. That's accurate enough - it's a defence mechanism, and it works, but obviously it makes me invisible to good men as well as aggressors.

So New Year's sorted, eh? I've certainly worked on it. And quickly too; only a week ago now we were having the course party.

Day 1348

Up at ten, at campus by 12.30. Got the greater part of the science exercises done. Had an e-mail from Natalie saying she'd be pleased to see me at the party.

Left at 2.55, got T's present in Past Times, caught the 1551, home by 4.35. Printed out all her e-mails since October - 34 pages.

Watched the X-Files - End Game pt. 2. Very good. I'd had another e-mail from T to say to ring her after it, so I did; talked to her for 45 minutes. We discussed plans for Friday (meet her under the departure board at Liverpool St. at 3.15pm). I must make some cheese straws.

The Communists have won the parliamentary election in Russia. Be great if they could put principle into practice properly this time.

Last cross-Dulchester bus odyssey tomorrow.

Day 1347

Worked hard on the recursive directory lister I thought up in the studies on Tuesday. I got the principle right but kept running out of stack and heap space (20 levels of recursion).

Tidied up and vacuumed the room. Watched the tornado programme again.

Day 1346

Woken up by M on the phone. She had the cheek to ask why I was still in bed at 10am on Saturday. Cycled round at two; walked into town with her so she could buy E's Christmas present. Met Mum in Marks & Spencers and we got a lift to her house. Then I borrowed her car and gave M a lift to her mum's to pick up her Christmas decorations. I drove back to my parents' house and M followed in her mother's car to give me a lift to hers so I could pick up my bike. As I said, it was like the wolf, goat and cabbage problem.

Stayed for an hour talking to them both and drinking Scotch and having a great time.

Eventually got home about seven, had something to eat.Noticed how Jude, the nurse in Casualty with the disfiguring nose-ring, resembles Natalie. E-mailed the latter to say I'd come to her New Year party, transport permitting. (Fishing for an invitation to stay there).

S rang to say, 'let's have a drink at the Cricketers', had a great time discussing politics and justice. Lucky I got out that extra tenner yesterday!

Busy day for a Saturday.

Day 1345

E-mail from Natalie to say her party invitation was genuine. Transport back will be difficult but I'd like to go.

Went to the science; my supervisor said it was traditional for us to buy him a drink at that point but he had a previous engagement. He warned us not to do no work during the holidays.

Rather poor attendance for the software engineering, about 20 people. He wished us Merry Christmas too. I did think of having a celebratory half before it but it took so long to find someone to hand my access fund form in to that I lost interest..

Started Herodotus again, always a good yarn - very good reading by John Tusa, newsreader and historian, on R4 last year. Also read a bit of Room of One's Own to get some perspective. I like to think I'm approaching the subject in a spirit of scientific enquiry. Gradually, out of the mists, truth is becoming clear, but it's a slow process. I should've learnt all this stuff years ago were it not for certain dodgy educational decisions not made by me.

Feel like I'm in a new age. It's been a hell of a transition from anxiety/unemployment. Roll on.

Day 1344

Two of the lecturers wished us a happy Christmas. Looked over my science assignment: got 43/50 (86%) which isn't bad for an arts/social science exile. And I got 'Good' at the bottom (!).

Got The Twelve Caesars and two parts of the elder Pliny out of the libe. It hadn't been borrowed since 1985. No-one's opened those books except me, since the day I got my first Christmas card from Amy Allott 11 years 1 day ago.

Came home via Andy's Records to check the title of the Dubstar album with Just A Girl on it which I want for Christmas - Disgraceful.

Day 1343

Yesterday: got an e-mail about the course party, decided to go. Had 3 pints beforehand to fortify myself, got the bus down to the wine bar. We got on famously and slagged off various people. Natalie invited us to her New Year party, going so far as to tell me her address. Slept in someone's front room.

Today: woke up at 10.30 am, big hangover. Thanked them for putting me up, walked to campus. Read my e-mail; felt anxious, as usual after drinking loads. But I knew it would pass off and it did about 8pm, after I got home and played lots of Battlezone

I might go to Natalie's party, especially if the Green Man is the alternative. I haven't been to a party for years, since Feb. 1993 in fact. Gosh.

Day 1341

Must've forgotten to write yesterday. I got sick of my assignments hanging about and printed them out.

Today: handed in all 3 assignments. Hung about in the afternoon waiting for my supervisor to put the new rules and exercises on disc. He didn't, so I familiarised myself with lex - quite good.

Back from the station in 21½ minutes (record (!)) by marching and taking long strides. (I seem to be a bit fat so I need aerobic exercise).

Watched The X Files - Colony, very good, Mulder's sister Samantha appeared to return.

Hey, I hope the assignments are good enough. I spent long enough working on the f'ers after all.

Day 1339

After triffic R4 play Tunes of Glory went to Currys, Comet, Do It All before making an uncharacteristic late-afternoon (4.45pm) visit to town, where I got a 128K RAM disc from Silica for the Psion and a load of recycled copier paper from Office World to print out the science assignment.

Started writing a Psion prog to display a Data file as a table. Worked on the engineering- harder than I thought. In the evening that odd versh of Journey To The Centre of the Earth was on R4 again. Copied the good bits of the Derek and Clive tape

Now that play about Léon-Castile and the mules is on the World Service. Plenty of plays today.

Day 1338

Got a load of Psion documents (file formats etc) which will be very useful. Saw my supervisor and borrowed his compiler book as promised; with much relief got the 1626 home.

Rang T after tea and had a good talk. When I finished talking to her rang M, went round and had a great time. Borrowed E's Pete'n'Dud tape.

Today, as if an opposite to yesterday, has gone well at almost every turn. You can't beat an evening with M and E to lift your spirits.

Day 1337

Same DOW as 1989 and the massacre. Everything I did today went wrong, almost, to paraphrase Aragorn. Train 23 minutes late at Dulchester; at this point it started snowing again. Took an ill-fated short cut (which made a long delay) along the river. Missed the studies lecture.

A Z class at 4pm was unexpectedly announced, leaving me to hang around for four hours. That wasn't all bad as the snow had become thick and soft. People were having snowball fights and building snowmen. (Like Feb. 1991 at Lowlands).

4 people turned up for the class. Felt I deserved a drink after all that, had one in the main bar and two in the union bar.

Walked to the station along the footpath over the fields in the snow - a white-out with reflections. It was like the Zero Room, I expected to come out purged.

Eventually caught the 7.21 home.

An e-mail from T asking me to phone her and reverse the charges. I need to spend time with people whose lives aren't as chance-driven as T's.

Blimey what a day.

Day 1336

Woke up at 10.30, caught the 1149, got to campus about ten to one. Dealt with my e-mail, worked through a B+ tree example in the library. Got the 2.35 bus, listened to two girls talking about their 'dizzy' friend Lizzie. Bus fuller than usual due to Admissions day.

Home by four, glad to get out of the cold - fine snow falling all day but no increase in depth. M rang and came round to borrow my Access users' guide.

I've been at Effolk 2 months now. I think on the whole I'm holding everything together and it's going well enough. I've got a crazy teacher, but he doesn't wear dark glasses.

Day 1335

Snow shower about 9.10; walking to the station passed a bloke who said 'Winter's begun eh?'

On the train, more snow; sunshine at Dulchester.

Started snowing again at twelve just before the studies lecture; after the databases (2-3pm) it was clear it had started again and it didn't stop till about seven. Everyone was huddled in the bus shelter when I left, and at Dulchester the wind was driving copious snow. When a fast train came through there were clouds of snow-spray. So it's snow before Christmas, and during the day, for the first time since 1981 as far as I can remember.

Got home, printed out the OPL prog I've perfected as work for the engineering assignment; broke my Battlezone record with 160,000.

Day 1334

Very cold east wind. My supervisor was off sick and the lab terminals were down. Handed in my exam form, there was nothing else to do so got the 10.55 back. Walked round town looking for something nice to buy, settled for the Sherlock Holmes novels in one volume for £2 from Woolworths. Got the bus home since I'd walked over 4 miles already.

Worked all afternoon on the science and engineering assignments. Harrowing e-mail from T about her boyfriend.

Great R4 play in the afternoon, Emily's Ghost, about two girls who, unhappy in 1909 and 1995, having the same birthday swap places in time. Charming stuff.

Watched The X-Files. Snow forecast for tomorrow.

Day 1333

Got the program for the science assignment written; later wrote a Psion prog for the engineering assignment. Watched Ipswich v. Wolves on the telly.

Apparently it'll be very cold this week - might get some snow. Should be interesting but I hope it doesn't fuck the trains up.

Day 1332

Went into town for the library, got a wargames campaign book, looked in at Games Workshop - all Warhammer models, very poor.

My 80's CDs from the book club arrived, started listening to them.

In the afternoon got another exercise question done while listening to The Distance Between Stars on R4, the play about the teenagers who steal a hearse and go to Scotland to see supposed aliens land. Then worked on the engineering and science assignments.

In the evening to the Crown with M & E and S and her fiancé.

Day 1331

Before the engineering lecture listened to Loquax and his mates talking about being scared of my supervisor; during the lecture watched them playing hangman. (The lecturer was the nervous woman who talks like Polly from Fawlty Towers.) All the MSc's have gravitated to the front - probably because of the high noise level.

Was all ready to catch the 2.15 when I realised I'd left the rizlas T gave me in the lab foyer when I was talking to Serius about C; went back to get them as I felt it would break my 'departure worry' habit. Got 'em, home via 2.25/walk/1507; collected Return of the Shadow from the libe. Very cold, dark, grey day.

Home just after four: worked out the answer to the recursive readint exercise I've been turning over since Monday. Must say I'm glad to've got to Friday - and to've worked out that exercise.

Got the advent calendar out. 24 days to Christmas!