Day 1269

Went into town in search of books on OLE and DDE. Came back and worked on OLE and finally produced the Word document deleter/viewer I've been trying to write. VB is very good.

Day 1268

Into town to the bank in the morning; met Rebecca B who had read my letter in the paper about pylon lines.

Day 1267

Seven years since I started at Lowlands. Did VB all morning, read Tehanu, the fourth Earthsea, all afternoon. Different tone but interesting to read. You can always trust Ursula le Guin for some interesting stuff about women.

Cooked tea, watched the pilot of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Not bad.

Day 1266

Watched Switch which was triffic. Went to the building society. to pay in my last Giro, then to the station to enquire about cost of fare to nearest stop to Effolk, 30p extra return.

Went for a newsgroup trawl, wrote a VB versh of Poker Solitaire - made surprising progress and got quite carried away. Went out and made some more star sketches.

Having considerable success with, rather than fearing people and situations, instead thinking they can fuck right off if they hinder me. This springs from a month ago at T's where I saw a bloke in the pub sneering at me. Suddenly I thought 'I don't give a toss about you, live or die, or what you think of me'.

Day 1265

Did some more VB (so easy it hardly counts as programming) and rang M re the VC++ stuff before going into town for a new Psion backup battery

Borrowed M's railway timetable, drew up a master scheme for getting to Effolk.

Day 1264

As I was getting ready to go out M rang; she's on holiday for two weeks (perfect timing!) and offered to give me a lift down town. Went and signed on for the last time, I hope; they kept us waiting for ages but it was worth it.

Me and M went round town and decided the best period of similar activity had been early 1992. Inevitably ended up going to PC World where she bought a new hard disc. She lent me Visual Basic (only 3 discs).

Tried VB after tea - very good and well worth it. Had another look round the newsgroups; in future during the week I'm going to ration myself to one a day as the phone bill's expensive.

Watched a scary X-Files, Scully n a frightful pickle at the end - to be continued.

Day 1263

Looked round the newsgroups. Worked a bit more on my Windows file dumper, but after dinner left it to write a phone call cost meter (essential for internet use). Watched Equinox (great title sequence as always) about fires.

'Only a dozen days more'. Last signing-on tomorrow, I hope it is the last. And if it isn't, I hope that horrible free-for-all non-queueing system never comes back.

Day 1262

Smoked tofu (~ bacon) sandwiches for 'brunch'; in the afternoon mowed the lawns; an afternoon very much like a golden Saturday afternoon six years ago today when I moved into the disastrous second-year house. Still, remember the three tenets: 1. Live 2. Love 3. Learn.

Iin the evening watched a triffic Screen Two called Loved Up, about T's music culture. It was extremely brilliant, a Brick Is Beautiful for the 1990's. If there's one thing I love it's a play/novel/film/prog that reproduces something I've experienced.

Day 1261

Into town, jobcentre, library. One of the books I got from the libe reprinted some photos of that Groom Dry Lake place I think The X-Files went to.

Did more VC++.

Got onto the USENET newsgroups on Compuserve - found a lot of stuff on the sauce-filth boundary.

Two weeks to go ('Only a fortnight more' as Henchard said). Worked out the scale on that Dulchester map I bought yesterday.

Day 1260

Went up to Dulchester. Got a street map and a bus timetable, enquired about the bus pass.

Came back, did VC++.

Day 1259

Went into town; got another Kennedy book from the library.

Came back, did some VC++ work - how the hell do you get a window to redraw? Played Battlezone, got pretty good. Did some WWW browsing.

Decided to go to Dulchester tomorrow to sort out bus times and season tickets. I've got to establish how to make that connection on the non-through service.

Effolk getting very close now (16 days). I wish I knew how best to prepare myself. Probly best just to go with the flow.

Day 1258

Worked hard all day on a VC++ file hex dump prog. Played Battlezone; that game really is a joy, I used to love it in the arcade and it's what persuaded me to get MS Arcade. I'd like a second generation, perhaps with Moon Cresta, Galaxians, Phoenix, Frogger, Scramble, Defender, Berserk... all great stuff.

Watched Is It Legal? by the Men Behaving Badly bloke, not bad, above Agony Again but below Chance In A Million.

Day 1257

Damp morning; felt a bit rusty myself, but forced myself to exercise. Read C's new JFK plot book Crossfire.

Went to Thurrock in the afternoon, but the Windows versh of Visual Basic wasn't there; I think all these failed attempts to buy it mean something. And it would be a big duplication of functionality with C++. I must buckle down and work on the latter, perhaps do some of the App Wizard examples in my book.

Instead bought Microsoft Arcade; replicas of Asteroids, Tempest, Battlezone, Centipede and Missile Command for £21 - not bad. That's the last of my tax rebate money.

Came back, played the games, watched The X-Files (X-cellent - I'm really getting into them) and exchanged e-mail with T.

Day 1256

Drove to Harwich in the afternoon with C and looked at the ships, came back via the campus at Dulchester (19 days).

Day 1255

T came. Luckily the heavy rain of the afternoon had stopped. She treated me to a meal at Pizzaland and we walked back to the Crown. About 11 we walked home from there arm-in-arm and talked till about four, when we went to bed.

Day 1254

Got my genealogy database pretty well polished.

Read The Mayor of Casterbridge. 21 years' abstinence! Had a headache again, a bit like the ones I was getting in 1994 when my glasses weren't matching my eyesight. When did I last have new lenses?

Printed out my e-mail from T.

Day 1253

Worked very hard with Access all day, learnt a lot and achieved a lot. Developed an unpleasant cross between a neck-ache and a headache.

E-mailed T a scanned and recognised description of how Brie is made (from the encyclopædia) to settle the rennet question.

Day 1252

Completed the top level of my exercises, with 45 seconds to spare. So I am now at peak fitness! It's taken long enough - 5 months 8 days.

Came back and worked hard on the Access database for family history - made progress. Played more solo Paydirt.

. Scanned the maps out of the back of Unfinished Tales on Monday and printed them out, enlarged to A4, on hex paper. Beautiful campaign maps!

Day 1251

Turned my hand to Access Basic, made some progress with a properly validated genealogical database but raised a lot of new difficulties.

I went to the corner shop for baccy and the bloke asked me if I'd finished university yet! I omitted mention of the past four years and told him I would soon be starting again, on a postgraduate course. I was wrong about people round here looking down on me for being out of work, if he, whose shop I've been in practically every weekday for the last 4 years, didn't know, then who does?

Played another solo game of Paydirt. Sent off the Effolk cheque, also a Softback Preview offer in the morning.

Day 1250

Went into town; signed on for the penultimate time. The book I wanted on Windows file formats was out of the library, unfortunately.

Did a bit more VC++ but couldn't get very far without knowledge of Word file formats. Devised random charts to simulate an opponent in Paydirt; worked quite well, I won 17-7 with the Green Bay Packers vs. the Cleveland Browns.

In the evening,watched The X-Files - not only very good but an excellent anti-imaginary fear device (because its situations are so bizarre as to put things in perspective).

Day 1249

Did a litle VC++, think I need something to freshen my attention before I carry on. Did the personality quiz from that old colour supplement, found my 'happiness' score had gone up 200% since I last did it.

Fried some of the smoked tofu I bought for the stir fry and put it in a sandwich as a bacon substitute. Very good - wish I'd thought of it before.

Day 1248

Did more VC++, improving Worddel v2.

In the evening more sorted out my souvenirs into pre-Lowlands, Lowlands and post-Lowlands; managed to chuck some outdated stuff out. All this computing needs to be leavened with other activities.

Day 1247

Worked on improving Worddel, made progress - I've made a real cognitive leap with VC++.

It occurred to me that since income support is paid in arrears, on Oct. 11th I should get a normal £93 enhanced Giro to spend as I like. That'll be a big help.

Rang M in the evening and left a message on her answering machine re my serial cable. She rang back and we went for a few drinks at the Crown. She went on about how old we were getting and reminisced about the 1984-86 days when we used to meet up on the corner of the street after school.

28 days - four weeks - to go. 4 weeks! It's exciting but just a little bit frightening.

Day 1246

Brought Worddel v1 to a finished versh with some Help, added a Word macro to run it from a menu via the Shell command.

May have succeeded with the 28,800 connection to Compuserve.

Day 1245

Went into town: had another really hard time trying to find something to treat myself to as I decided. So decided to leave it until I could find something I really wanted.

Came back, got the Word file deleter v1 into final form: very good it is too. Did a lot of work on a Word macro to do the same thing using a dynamic dialogue box, but couldn't get certain bits to work, and realised there was no access to file dates and times from WordBasic. (But it's very good; there's even a virus going round written in it. Installing the Help for it was a real investment). I'll settle for a macro to run my Document Deleter.

Watched Star Trek: TNG but turned it off as it got into all that sentient computer bullshit.

Went round and helped C with his new dedicated word processor - very good, it's even got a spreadsheet and a (sort of) database. Afterwards we watched the Smashie & Nicey 'docu'.

Day 1244

Worked very hard all day on a document browser and deleter in VC++, with good results. Also got round to installing WordBasic Help, experimented with that branch of VBA.

Got an alumni magazine from Lowlands today: was the Linsey Baker, deceased in boating accident, the one we lived with in O-block? Pity if it was.

These last few days have gone by quickly and slowly at the same time, if you see what I mean; there are slow bits that seem endless but the days as a whole pass at acceptable speed. Only 31 to go.

Day 1243

Cold and hazy in the morning, very Septembral; sun came out later though for a bit of autumn gold.

Had some success with VC++ using AppWizard. Had a frustrating time trying to change my Compuserve connection to 28,800 baud; their helpline was permanently engaged.

Got all the necessary details about paying for the Effolk course. Only need the cash now. Drew up a detailed chart of the homeward bus/train connections to go with the outward one: latest I can leave campus is on the 10.35 bus, which gives me a 12-minute margin for the 11.07 last train.

Watched The X-Files on T's recommendation: gruesome, like a particularly nasty 70's Dr Who, but interesting.

Day 1242

Ten years since the start of the sixth form.

In the afternoon went out to Dulchester with C to have a look at the Effolk campus again; noted down bus times. Gave him advice on dedicated word processors at the retail park.

In the evening to the Crown with M, Jo J and E. Finally heard the story they were keeping so secret in August 1993 down the Swan - some stuff about discovering the boys they were with were under 16.

Reading through my diary earlier (to find the date of that occasion down the Swan) I was struck by the continuity between my past feelings and my optimistic moods now. I'd got into a mind-set where the things that happened over the last year were the chimes of doom. Where of course they were in fact events much less traumatic than many that happened to me before. It was the background of not having anything else to think about that made them seem so important. They have to be dumped overboard.

Day 1241

Alliterative date. Heavy rain and thunder all morning left everything looking much greener. Struggled with VC++, made some headway but not much. Read the e-mails T sent me yesterday, sent her a reply. Had another go with the WWW browser, didn't get too far.

Day 1240

Autumn at last. Five weeks till my course starts. Went into town to get course photos taken.

Decided a Visual C++ book would be a legitimate course expense. Accordingly, after getting the shopping in the afternoon (paid by Delta) borrowed mum's car and drove down to PC World and got Inside Visual C++ which I'd borrowed from the library and knew to be useful.

With (comparatively) so little time before the course starts I ought to try and press on and finish the ANSI C book, plus get something more serious done in VC++ - not that my Visual Lunar Lander isn't an achievement.