Day 1624

Woke up worried about five, couldn't get back to sleep, got up at 7.30. It was actually thundering and there was some heavyish rain. Finalised my presentation/diss arrangements, went to Dulchester.

Had a bit of luck - found a machine in the lab that runs Windows 95, on which my prog did not crash. Exchanged words with another person waiting to do a demo, in an encouraging way.

Presentation went not too badly, except I was so nervous I kept losing my thread. Mind you, I talked for 14 minutes without noticing. Once they started asking questions it was OK. The demo went well too, my prog proved pleasingly robust under vigorous testing. My supervisor said to come and see him next week (informally).

Moved all vital material off my disc area, had a cuppa in the coffee shop, left at 4.30. Back through rain. C came round in the evening, talked and watched an old Alan Partridge.

Jo J rang; Alison the bridesmaid's schemes have become even more expensive. Tried to ring M about it but she wasn't in - discussed it with E instead. Also invited them both to celebrate the end of my course - E said tomorrow would probably be okay.

Not bad X-Files. Now Krycek hates Smoking Man, things could get interesting.

So. End of the course. Must keep major marketable projects on the boil. What now, little woman?

Day 1623

I went into town in the morning to get my diss bound. It took a long time and the girl cut herself and dripped blood all over the cover. Luckily I'd specified plastic covers, so she could wipe it off. She was so embarrassed, that I didn't say anything. Hope it's not a bad omen though!

Read careers books in the libe. Walked home feeling very low. When I got home, read the front page of the copy of Computer Weekly I'd bought in town: apparently IT graduates are in great demand and it's the hardest sector to recruit people in. Cheered up immensely, then spotted a great blue gap in the flowing grey clouds, just like on the cover of The Sun And The Rain.

Prepared my presentation. It won't be very long but I hope it convinces. It's not being marked anyway. I'll hand my disses in tomorrow - I could wait till Friday but what's the point, now I've printed 'em? And that'll be the end of the course.
I'll probably go up next Thursday to salvage files etc, get my padlock off my locker, and so on.

Currently trying to decide how much to drink tonight - it's anti-boredom vs. hangover. Who'll win?

Day 1622

Got a solid 9 hours' sleep, still felt a bit tired though. Went up to Dulchester via the new back route I discovered yesterday. Discussed the presentation with my supervisor, gave him back those papers I've been using as references since March.

Came back, watched depressing item on the news about graduate unemployment. How do they expect people to get experience if they won't employ inexperienced people?

Nevertheless managed to compose a better introduction for the diss; inserted it into both copies, which I'll get bound tomorrow morning (that'll leave me the afternoon to write the presentation).

This is nearly the end of the course you know. Soon I'll have to go back to being unemployed again. Hopefully this time it won't go on so long.

Day 1621

Went into town and made a new claim appointment for next week. Depressing I know but currently I've got no other choice. Good 'New Labour New Prosperity' sign outside the job centre though.

Came back, made a final revision of the thesis, printed out 1½ copies so far. Takes a hell of a long time I tell you. I'll do the Introduction separately tomorrow, and get 'em bound on Wednesday.

In the evening watched Game On 2.1, they've replaced the agoraphobic actor with another one. Interesting reference to this after the credits - 'don't you hate it when they keep the same character but change the actor' and they both look at him. I don't know about Game On, the funny bits are OK but there is too much that I actively dislike about it.

Four years since Black Wednesday. How have they managed to survive all this time with no-one trusting 'em? I've now got 3 massive quests on hand - politics, partner and job. Just one of them coming up would be a massive start.

Day 1620

In the morning went to PC World in Dulchester with dad for a new printer cartridge - countryside a bit like Bk.1 of LotR, same time of year too. Pretended the sun-glinting distant Much estuary was the Brandywine.

Sleepy sort of afternoon reading old Vizzes and putting source code into my diss. Finished the 8-page letter to T I started yesterday. Rang up Jo J about the hen night. I'd forgotten how likeable she is, we had quite a long conversation.

Day 1619

Into town with M and E, and M's brother. Played Sim City in the afternoon.

Round to theirs again in the evening. Good conversation. They wished me luck with the databases exam.

Just as I got back the drizzle turned into heavy rain and I got soaked putting my bike away.

That databases exam is only 2 days from now.

Day 1618

Pressed on with the diss - 13,300 words. Bright, cool September weather.

Went round to M's at 9pm, had a long and humourous conversation about everything. E kept joking about dancing with me at the reception.
I told M I only was diffident about being bridesmaid in case she didn't pick me. She was annoyed and said she would've picked me otherwise. That'll teach me.

Home through the cool air. Beautiful view of the stars in cold polar airstream, including the Milky Way in the vicinity of Cassiopeia, υ¹ and υ² Cass. (5th. mag) clearly separable, the Pleiades, and a shooting star across Cassiopeia. (Made a wish). Enough to make one 'drunk with distance and expanse'.

Day 1617

Went to Staples to investigate binding for my diss. Looked in at the Jobcentre and met Spadey, looking rather healthy and together.

After an early lunch went up to Dulchester. Spent an unsuccessful hour in the library, had a cup of tea in the coffee shop, went in the lab to surf for extra diss details. There's a sort of dusty fin de siècle feel about campus these days - mind you, I've always felt not quite right there, there's always the thought of the journey home.

Made the latter via a new route cross-country. Had tea, listened to Doon McKichan again - she's not bad. C came round, had a long talk about this and that. His redundancy thing still hasn't been finalised.

At 9.30 the new series of The X-Files was on. Very annoyingly, they've messed with the theme tune. Story rather jumbled but interesting enough. I'm getting annoyed with all these 'to be continued' eps.

Day 1616

Catalogue boots duly arrived, all fine. It's very quick when you phone up - takes about 2 days.

Worked hard on the diss, finally got beyond the required word count - 12,223 so far.

The only trouble with this diss stuff is one can't spend all day doing it, leading to gaps in the day which tend to bring back memories of dodgy times. Like when after ST:TNG I felt the old boredom returning, so went out for a walk - the old one past the Crown and back via Short Lane and Fircombe Green.

Every other woman or girl I passed was in a pair. Don't we go out alone any more?

Got back to find e-mail from T semi-threatening to ring my supervisor up herself and go on about research assistantships. I hope she doesn't - and this is a different situation to the time when she rang up for the prospectus. Hey, it'd be great though if he offered me one out of the blue, eh?

I must say I wish I could take more pleasure in my achievements, or in any of the pleasant things that happen. I either take them for granted, or they form steps in a chain that have to be achieved anyway - like being top MSc student. That was quite impressive but because no-one knew (among other reasons) it wasn't much fun.

I've begun to see upcoming events as tests to be passed - the presentation, the nox gallinae, the (probable) new claims arrangements.

Day 1615

Got to campus by 10.45, spent 2 hours making notes in the library. T had ordered me to ask my supervisor about assistantships, but I could not do it. He was pretty positive in fact, much better than last week. The presentation is next Thursday at 2pm!

Didn't leave till 6pm, a record for a non-pissed Effolk day.

Day 1614

On with the diss, and the prog: exchanged e-mails with T.

Gave my suit a bit more of a wearing. I do look a bit like the woman CID off The Bill, can't be helped I suppose!

Day 1613

Woke up with an appalling hangover at 7.50 am. Despite feeling ill and interested in nothing (latter the worst hangover symptom there is) managed to get my diss up to 10,700 words (the best so far) and to include an impressively fast 'jump to cycle n' button on the prog. Still don't fancy this presentation much, though.

Filled in an alcohol dependency questionnaire on the WWW - scored 6 (1-9 being low dependency, 10-19 medium, 20+ high). Felt better by 7pm. There's almost nothing more pleasurable than recovering from a hangover, or any illness.

Bit tired, but went out for a reflective walk. Providing I pass the course, the next 9 months-year are my best chance in ages to get things going. I can't waste it because of some lack of self-confidence thing. But how best to tackle it?

Day 1612

Alliterative date. Worked hard all day on my diss, drawing breath only to leave M a message in the morning and talk to C when he came round at dinnertime.

Made improvements to my prog, got it working more authentically. Cooked fry-up for tea; while I was cooking the people over the road left the front and back doors of their house open, and I could see right into the back garden where I played as a child. Real Headwaters of Youth stuff.

M rang up about 7.40, had quite a long conversation. Got invited round with the warning that she was feeling a bit bored, however she seemed to cheer up as we spoke. Had a great time talking and looking at photos. One of M&E in prehistoric times before they were going out. To think everyone was having such fun while I was being unemployed.

On the subject, also saw that pic of me round her house some time in '93, looking in a right state. No wonder I couldn't get a job.

Day 1611

More diss in the morning; lovely day, so went out for a ride and to buy PCW after dinner. Then more diss and prog.

In the evening watched Bottom again, grudgingly found bits of it funny, with names like Unlucky Ted 'Suicide' McGloomy, and a good conceit with Richie interpreting 'hotel maid' as 'servant girl'.

Day 1610

Carried on updating the thesis. Borrowed mum's car and made a trip to Lakeside, got the wedding present. It cost £17 but that's less than half what I've saved from giving up smoking. Also got a semi-formal bird's eye check skirt for semi-formal occasions.

Rather too high a proportion of Sim City in the day's activity, fought it by rationing myself to 15-minute sessions.

Excellent Hancock ep in the evening, The Two Murderers, very funny. Carried on with Our Mutual Friend. Just got to the obligatory sickly child.

T is not well at the moment so she's rather down. However, I resisted being manipulated into visiting her on the 21st instead of vice versa. If she's well enough to have visitors, she's well enough to visit, and how does she know how she'll feel in 16 days' time? Sent her an encouraging message instead. It is much healthier for her not to be my only friend as it makes us equal (tough love approach).

I must say life is more fun when you like people.

Didn't wake up till 10am. Made good progress on rearranging my diss - made a real gain of 500 words. I feel much more positive about it now, as I do about my prog after my supervisor Martin's comments.
Watched the wedding ep of Only Fools and Horses. Realised that stag and hen night shenanigans are appropriate to the social circle in which they take place, so no-one need worry.

More Our Mutual Friend later.

Day 1608

Went into town for wine and Computer Weekly. They all want experience again. Drove to Dulchester: on the way the white sky cleared and a golden autumn day was revealed. Went in the libe, found one of the papers I needed, made notes. It felt like being back at Lowlands.

My supervisor had covered my draft in red ink, and spent 3 hours talking about it. He got quite worked up about where I'd said that 'purists' didn't like LISP's sequential structures, as if, he said, 'purists' were a bunch of crazies hankering after a functional language utopia. He was very constructive though, and I must admit I did say some stupid things in the draft.

Did a bit of surfing, home by 6.30. Gave myself the evening off the diss, read Our Mutual Friend, did more work on a program to use the backupable circular queue I wrote (in one go) yesterday - the answer to the C parsing prob. My queue lets you back up as far as you like (up to the buffer size anyway).

Basically, carried on struggling with my difficult destiny. But let's face it - like Gavin Waylock, whenever I've had an easy destiny, I've been discontented. Better keep going!

Day 1607

Printed out my draft diss. Had a worrying e-mail from my supervisor answering my presentation question - yes we have to do one, quite a serious one too. Blue ruin!

Carried on with Our Mutual Friend. Apparently Richard Adams is going to release a book of Watership Down short stories. Read a sample: short, coarse grained, inconsistent with the main book. I think he peaked with Maia. But what a peak!

Day 1606

Woke up early worrying about the hen night. Got up and did some diss, then went for a long ride to Little Felpham. Church at the latter very similar to the one here. Hint of autumn on the countryside.

M rang up in the afternoon and invited me round. She said she didn't ring me yesterday because she thought I ought to be getting on with my diss! I had a long talk to her and E about the wedding, and made a suggestion about the reception/evening gap.

Came back, did more diss. 10,010 words, 1,990 to go. M was impressed with my progress since Monday. They gave me more advice about looking for a job. As I said when I e-mailed T later, my friends can give me advice till the cows come home, but barring bizarre clerical errors, nothing will happen unless I actually take any of it!

Day 1605

Last day of summer. Printed out vol. 6 of T's e-mails. More diss work, got to 9,200 words. Carried on with Our Mutual Friend which I started last night.

C came round in the morning, at least I got some straight CV answers out of him.

Left M a message in the morning, never got a reply. Don't like being deprived of company at the weekends, it recharges my batteries. Still, as the 1994 experience shows, my capacitors retain enough charge to keep me going for at least 6 months!

Day 1604

Over 1000 project words again today. 4500 to go. Got a long (5K) email from T giving me lots more good advice about jobs. I'm beginning to wonder if my policy of always assuming the worst in order to avoid disappointment is working. What puts me off is that I got optimistic at ABC, most horribly just before the crash. The experience unnerved me a lot. But unless I allow myself to be a bit more optimistic it'll be hard to get anywhere.

There are 3 awkward questions that are going to be asked jobs-wise: (1) Why did you leave ABC? (2) What were you doing 1991-95? and (3) Why are you looking for a first job at age 26?
I have put this to M, and S and Barber, and T, and no-one has given me a straight answer as to what to do. (Barber suggested I could say I'd been writing a book, which wasn't such a bad suggestion).
I wonder if they are Insoluble Questions, and people don't want to depress me.

Anyway. Finished Dombey & Son. (Everyone got married).

Day 1603

Cold, wet and windy. Rode into town to the libe, got a couple of go-ahead American careers books, the sort that make you feel worse after you've read them because you daren't try what they suggest.

Got another thousand words of diss done. I'm quite pleased with the progress I've made since I got properly started. For light relief, rewrote that QBasic LISP expression evaluator in QuickC - worked first time, no trouble. Pleasing.

Put a Diana Profitometer on my Geocities web site to show how much interest she's made on the divorce settlement (all in Javascript) and suggest better uses for the money.

Last night watched QED about happiness. It mentioned in passing that smiling voluntarily only generates happiness if you smile fully, involving eye muscles etc. It works too! It's the most fun you can have on your own.

Day 1602

Worked extremely hard on the diss, getting 2000 words down (1500 over quota). Corresponded quite deeply with T about Star Trek and post-modernism in The Perishers (they've gone self-referential about the 'eyeballs in the sky' annual plot).

Looked up how to spell Capt. Kathryn Janeway's first name.

Day 1601

Got some project done in the morning. Back in contact with T, who sent helpful job-finding tips. Went up to Dulchester: exciting thunderstorms visible from the lab. Went and saw #Martin, who was moved by evidence of work on my part to become quite helpful.

Came back, carefully went through the adverts in Computer Weekly. Perhaps looking for a job won't be so bad this time round.

Watched Star Trek: Voyager, the first ep which I taped last night. I liked Janeway, very commanding especially in a crisis, also the Vulcan and the holographic doctor. A couple of irritating characters but you can't escape them in the modern Star Treks, or so it seems.

Day 1600

Started some serious diss typing in the morning. In the afternoon M&E took me up to Thrush Green, via Grainley to look at the register office, and we had drinks by the duckpond. M said this was in return for my services last week. Had a good talk, then wandered round looking at things and half expecting Lovejoy and Lady Jane to appear.

E had found out somehow that I'd only managed to get 7 interviews in 4 years - I refrained from pointing out that the true figure was 5, not 7 ('No ma'am, it's generally known that you have only flown two missions.')

Later C came round, facing redundancy no less poor lad, so we watched Alan Partridge to cheer him up.

Evening of Star Trek stuff - including the 'Bastards' bloke we saw round T's that night. Gave Dombey & Son a read - it'll be on R4 soon so I'd better get it finished.

Day 1599

Nice weather, cooler and sunny. Made extensive notes for the diss. The JavaScript prog was a big source of trouble and I'm not sure Netscape is interpreting it properly. I'll have a go at writing it in proper Java, if I get the time.

Little else to report. A spot of reading in the evening. Bank Holiday tomorrow - correspondingly high levels of drunken shouting tonight and last night.

Day 1598

Cooler and sunnier. Got a lot of project work done. Rode to Sainsbury's before dinner for extra wine.

More project in the afternoon - followed up an idea I got yesterday from looking through the listing. Now at least my program looks vaguely as if it does what it's supposed to. Made even more notes on functional languages.

Cooked tea, watched Dad's Army, the one where Mainwaring declares martial law. Very good.
After tea spent some time on a JavaScript lottery simulator while listening to The Bruce-Partington Plans.

Day 1597

Rained all night and all morning. Then it suddenly brightened up with strong wind, sun and small cumulus. Usually we don't get this extended rain till September, so it's come a week or so early.

Made extensive project notes; made a breakthrough in understanding how SK combinators act as steering agents at graph nodes. My book about The Roman War Machine arrived.

Also made good progress with Java, swiftly working out how to get a graphics context. I need a good editor that can recognise long filenames.

Might give Dombey & Son a carry-on later.

Day 1596

Rode into town in the morning, went to the bank. At the library drew copies of maps of Bournemouth and Guildford for the nox gallinae on the grounds that forewarned is forearmed

Back at home more notes. More program. No Lovejoy, as the cricket's on again.

Interesting bit in the paper about why one should not make platonic relationships romantic.

C came round in the evening, watched that G. Formby film he had me tape. Devised a background image for his web page.

Watched Hancock, the Lord Byron one.

In rather a dull patch Dombey & Son-wise.

Day 1595

More diss (2248 words, 9752 to go), more diss notes, more program. Found the problem with the cell grid assignment operator - misplacing uninitialised variables for member vars and attempting to allocate a 15,000 x 15,000 array!

Also cranked up my own computer for some FORTH. I wrote a recursive factorial off the top of my head, right first time (except, as usual, I forgot 0! is 1 not 0. 0 still makes more sense, I think).

Watched that triffic ep of Only Fools and Horses where they go on holiday and Rodders has to pretend to be 14. He is 26 in that ep and in the early stages with Cassandra, so if I just catch up a bit... It's a pretty pass when Rodney's more socially accomplished than you are. To be fair, I think I do tend to underestimate my capacities in this regard. The trouble is that I tend to assume I can get away with gradually assimilating myself; the problem is that people take my initial reserve for stand-offishness. I go way too far to avoid rebuffs.

Carried on with Dombey and Son. I was caught out by Paul dying. I assumed from the title that he must recover. Very much standard for Dickens though.

Day 1594

Hot, humid and unpleasant weather. Project in the morning, went to Dulchester in the afternoon and spoke to my supervisor. He was more encouraging than last week. Got a copy of the 32-bit beta for Netscape 3. Came home; it had rained but everything was damper than ever and very uncomfortable.

Just had a thought. Assuming I can put together the presentational, financial and fortunate resources necessary to get a job and survive in it (these being two separate Hills of Difficulty) I need never fear anything again if I'm lucky.

Posted the letter to T. Included a scan of that photo of me on Southend Pier pretending to be in the new Minder credits.

Day 1593

M rang up at 9.30am asking me to do a favour. Would I go to C&A where her mum works, get her mum's house keys off her, go to her mum's house, get the keys to M's house from the kitchen, go round to M's house, lock the front door, go back to C&A and return her mum's keys, then take M's house keys to E's work, the cause of all this being she'd taken his keys by mistake. Presumably after this I would then be free to make my own way home.

Took my bike. Then I discovered it was boiling hot, though it was calm with a little mist at first. It was like a summer morning in a dream. Home again by 11.30, via Wilton's bookshop for a triffic C++ book by the bloke who wrote the language. 10.8 miles in 63 riding minutes.

M rang at 12 to thank me. Nice to be trusted to go into all these people's houses.

Alternated project programming and project notes all day. Notes were quite encouraging, I think I might be able to do a decent diss after all.

I have often found seemingly ordinary transactions in banks, shops etc a trial. I noticed it again today. I wonder if I'm imagining it though.

Day 1592

Beautiful weather, very hot with a steadily increasing wind. Worked all day on the thesis and program: could not get the program to use the assignment operators I'd provided. Made a little progress on that by the evening, after writing various tests.

Some bastard was using a chainsaw over at the school; the amount of noise was appalling for a Sunday. I was strongly tempted to complain to the Environmental Health.

Had a terrible twinge in my back while eating Sunday dinner. Will have to start sitting up straight again while I'm typing.

Made some minor modifications to my GeoCities home page. Read on with Dombey & Son.

Still experiencing the 'fast forward' effect associated with working very hard and not doing much else. Not actually a bad thing.

Day 1591

Got cracking on my dissertation in the morning, had 1,166 words done after only 3 hours. At this rate I'll have the 12,000 done in less than 2 weeks.

Weather very hot, classic summer stuff. Went back to VT3 (my project program) and saw that the problem was to do with all that copy constructor/assignment operator stuff, ie I'd forgotten to provide said things.

Carried on writing to T. Little else to report, I fear; except that I was thinking in the evening about what a good influence E has been on me.

Read more Orwell essays. It is exactly one month since I gave up smoking.

Day 1590

Got a decent night's sleep, and started on my project. A letter from T arrived; I was writing a reply when M rang up about noon. She was skiving off work so I went round and ended up staying till 5.

For the first time I told her exactly what happened at ABC: she saw nothing unusual in being escorted (or 'closely followed') out of the building. She said this happened when people gave in their notice, let alone anything more suspicious. So I was quite wrong, or rather quite right and should never have believed mum on this subject, to've thought they suspected me of anything other than the old 'unsatisfactory performance'. Not that that was fair either.

In the evening to the Crown with her and E.What a great day. I'll be well justified in leaving 'em alone for the rest of the weekend.

They both confirmed my own strong impression that I ought to start thesis-writing NOW. Will do so as soon as I sober up tomorrow.

Had fun coming back in the dark - thought 'this is the cutting edge of danger, if I was really the coward I take myself for sometimes I wouldn't dare be here.' We advance!

Day 1589

Started work at 7.30 am. Went into town, got a helpful C++ book from the libe and last year's ephemeris for 10p from the bookshop (for the Pluto positions).

Did the project almost all day: broke for Lovejoy, and The Bowmans is on soon.

Day 1588

Felt very sleepy and under the weather in the morning; nevertheless got on with my project, after two hours' cleaning up the house. Ran into an error in the compiler-generated part of the prog - what am I supposed to do about that?

Jo J rang up at seven with the latest hen night info. This threw me into a foul mood (nightclub apprehension) so when M rang up at eight I immediately started continuing the argument we had on Sunday. (I must admit though that arguing with M does represent a certain increase in self-confidence).

If my project wasn't being so troublesome I'd've been in a better mood, and I told her so.

Day 1587

Got some projecting done in the morning, went to campus. I arrived at the lab at the same time as K and let her in. My supervisor arrived later and actually, me and him had a bit of an argument about list implementations. It was embarrassing as K and the others heard everything. Afterwards she came over and said meaningfully, 'so he's your supervisor then'.

Did a bit of searching for graph reduction stuff on the WWW, found the GeoCities home page. I've come across geocities.com URL's before: they give you a free home page and e-mail address. I thought 'What's in it for them?' but signed up straight away.

In the evening George Orwell, and more project. I'll have to work intensively to get these new modifications done.

Quite a constructive day really.

Day 1586

Did some more project, then went down to Lakeside to look at suits. Decided to dress up smart to do so. Followed E's advice and looked at M&S's reductions, ended up with a £99 one as worn by Scully or the woman detective on The Bill.

Made a leisurely way home via PC World. Got MS Arcade 2. It's great - Galaxians, PacMan, Pole Position and Dig Dug. Stopped for a pie at the Chafford Hundred Safeway, home by about 1.40.

Further followed E's advice by wearing my suit all afternoon to get used to it. Did a bit more project in the afternoon and in the evening, also scored 7.8 million on TDK Pinball.

Day 1585

Straight to work on the project. Solved the timer problem: it was where the init was being called from that was the problem, not yielding control.

After dinner rang M up and invited myself round. Had a long, intense discussion about the hen night and jobs. E wanted driving practice so we went out and visited M's dad's grave. I pointed out the buildings in Mugsborough I'd worked in.

To the Crown with them in the evening. M mentioned she worked with people who were younger than her and on their second job. I said it was the same at ABC. Now I can just (just) think about the latter without wanting to set fire to the building. I suppose it's a kind of progress. And at least, if it had to happen, it happened right at the beginning of my career rather than the end.

Today a bit of proper rain at last. A drop about 10am, a shower about 5.45; then, on my way to the pub about 7.50, it started really raining and hasn't stopped since (3 hours or so).

Day 1584

Listened to R4 all afternoon; documentary about epidemics, a what-if about Britain being neutral in WW1.

Nipped up to the shop for fizzy water, was a bit troubled by the old association with going out for fags but got by it with the good old 'Don't think about it for the next 3 minutes' rule (apparently any craving for anything only lasts that long).

Day 1583

Had some more of the cheese and onion flan I made yesterday, which was nice cold. Terrible R5 reception this evening for some reason.

Day 1582

Went into town to the library and to pick up the film (the one with me pretending to've lost my wallet on Southend pier, like on the new Minder creds). Went to Staples for discs, a nice girl found the DS/DD ones for me.

Got back to work on the project. Have got to the stage where even if I had to hand it in tomorrow it would recognisably resemble the Progress Report. I've got another 6 weeks to finish it, quite a long time really, but I'd better not slacken off. I find getting 4 hrs/day in hard.

I am going through all my albums one by one, listening to them while I work on my project - got to Live Killers so far.

Day 1581

Despite a rotten hangover got back to work on the project - made more progress today. Cycled to Sainsburys for more wine. Another Lovejoy in the afternoon, what an unexpected treat they are. I don't really know why I like it, probly the combo of Lady Jane and envying Lovejoy's competence. Then more project.

Thinking about how different it will be looking for a job again, I realised something about my time at ABC that I had never realised - I reckon the things that went on there, including getting slung out in the end, distressed me so much because I liked working there. Whatever next? Pity it always takes me about 2 years to realise these things.

Day 1580

Made substantial project progress in the morning - spotted a new without a delete. Did 2 1-hr sessions, with the Java book for light relief. Exciting blustery showery weather. After dinner Lovejoy, then another 2 project sessions.

In the evening some impressive sun and dark clouds and wind.

Day 1579

At 4.30am got up for a wee, saw dawn preparing, with a spectrum of colours coming up in order from the eastern horizon; and Venus riding high in the East. I don't think I've ever seen her as the morning star (Hesperus) before. Eala earendel eangla beorhtast I thought.

Got up properly somewhat later, and went into town. Took that film to Boots, the one with the Southend pier pictures.

Had an extremely frustrating project session in the afternoon with memory leaks etc. Then the compiler started crashing. In the end I temporarily gave up and composed the Captain Pugwash theme with the MIDI prog while running MS Anti-virus in the background. in the evening worked out a new approach.

Watched Lovejoy, the one about Napoleon's commode. There was a terrible turn by Alexei Sayle trying to do a Cockney wideboy, it was like his Brian Damage but worse. Also the Files (Born Again), pretty good.

Carried on with The Knight & Knave of Swords. Fafhrd and the Mouser are never troubled by computer science projects or lacks of sexual confidence. Give me the titan diamonds etc any day.

Day 1578

Had one project frustration after another, but am gradually approaching the goal (very gradually). I might up the effort to 4 hrs/day instead of 3 - be a shame to cack up my exam results with a poor project mark.

Didn't need any nicotine gum till 4.25pm - amazing.

In the evening watched a rather dark drama The English Wife. Couldn't stick it till the end, turned off after there was a rape and 2 murders all in 90 seconds.

Reading the paper discovered Ben Elton shares my distaste for the current cult of violence in films (Q. Tarantino etc.) I never know about Ben, I mean: PRO - wrote The Young Ones, CON - wrote a load of wanky novels, CON - slagged off Benny Hill in a way that made it obvious he'd never watched him, PRO - atoned somewhat with that 'Benny Elton' sketch on Harry Enfield. So I suppose this puts him 1 notch ahead. Oh no, I forgot the CON, 'I want you to know that I am seriously rich and money is no problem', so he's level on 0 points.

Taped a promising-looking film called Nashville.

Day 1577

On with the project. A certain amount of progress with the derived classes. M rang up about 2pm to relate a complex comms problem. Comms are ever an evil mystery etc.

Cycled into town in search of the program segment prefix format and new shirts. Found a big white one and a green silk one in C&A for £7.99 each. In the libe found a great Java book plus an assembly language book which told all about the PSP. Nice one. It was 4.24 when I left town - dangerously late as you might say, with afternoon turning into evening.

Had rather a good evening at M's, a pity to have to depart into the cool dark water of the way home, which I covered in under 8 minutes.

This is the 18th day of not smoking. It's not been as hard as I feared, though I am occasionally tormented by thoughts of lapsing, and also by dreaming that I am smoking (apparently quite normal).

Day 1576

Got a good 9 hours' sleep, was up refreshed and got straight back to work on the project. Bashed it about until I had the slot store working as a derived class of the pointer list, and the compiled code reader working on top of that. Now I've got to do the chain as a derived class, then I can do the cell grid, then I can get the running display going.

Discovered that the no-mail-waiting indicator on Compuserve has been playing me false, when I more or less randomly decided to go 'Get New Mail' anyway. Spent some time composing a reply to the 7 messages from T that were waiting.

Got washed and brushed up for the weekend. I've been working dead hard on the project this week and deserve a rest.

Day 1575

Claudius' birthday... Managed to do the hares/rabbits thing again, got straight to work on my project, then cycling into town. Treated myself to Parklife with some of the cash I've saved by not smoking. By cutting the gum into quarters I got down to 2 bits yesterday and saved another £1.05.

Went up to campus, saw K as usual rooted to the spot in front of her terminal in the engineering lab and was moved to ask if she ever left the room. She shook her head sadly.

Day 1574

Got on with the project. I've started taking a more rigorous approach - doing sessions of 1 hour without letting myself do anything else. Managed 3 such today, but in the evening ran into an impasse and considered re-designing the whole thing.

About noon rode up to Sainsbury's; with the wind behind me got up to 20.6 mph..

T rang up to ask why I hadn't e-mailed her; she hasn't had any of my messages since I saw her. Agreed to re-send them. Wonder what's going on?

I'll visit Effolk again tomorrow I think, see if different surroundings can inspire me at all project-wise.

Day 1573

Got back to work on my project with a vengeance today. Got some sort of display going, but I'm glad there's still two weeks left before my supervisor comes back.

I must put a stop to my habit of being so self-critical. It is this, I believe, that leads to the 'drabs' (and that's a thing that started way back in autumn 1987) - and the really sad thing is that it's all in terms of other people's value systems rather than my own.

Day 1572

Made a packed lunch, went off at 12.30 to Effolk. I forgot to bring all the necessary files for my project, so I had to go surfing instead. Actually it was good to have some time away from the bloody thing.

Spent the evening watching a long Bill, the one where that horrible northern woman comes back and gets killed.

I think it's 4 years since I got my hard disc (5 yrs and a week since I got the computer). Both still going strong! As is the not smoking, done 12 days 21 hours so far and beginning to forget that I am doing it. Mustn't get complacent, but it is an achievement, especially with getting down to 3½ bits of gum per day. As I said in my latest e-mail to T, the problem is not so much giving up now, as not starting again.

Day 1571

Up quite early for a Sunday, got straight to work on my project. The problem is not so much implementation as knowing what to implement.

C came round in the afternoon, I updated his web pages. He's off to America tomorrow night, so he left a series of updates for me to put on his page while he's away.

At 8.30 strolled up to the Crown: when M and E arrived we had a good, relaxed Sunday-night type conversation about jobs and so forth ('putting the nail in the weekend' as E put it).

When I got back, carried on reading nostalgically through those old Your Computers. It was a triffic mag in its heyday 1981-83.

Day 1570

Worked on my project. Went out in the late afternoon and walked all the way along the front at Raindon and back (2.2 miles) for a change of scene. A bath, fry-up and the 'Napoleon' episode of Dad's Army and it was back to the project.

To M's afterwards. Watched Genesis of the Daleks, swapped banter and computer opinions. E was dead keen on getting me to apply for jobs.

Dramatic drop in nicotine gum consumption. Probably because it's so vile, yet still better than smoking eh?

Day 1569

Enjoyed playing the emulator version of 3D Monster Maze which I got off the net on Tuesday. Making a map is the winning solution.

Watched a dark ep of The Bill - was tempted by my game experience to try making a map of Sun Hill.

Didn't I say I'd start looking for a job on this date? Well, I did look through Decline and Fall of the American Programmer.

Still smoke-free.

Day 1568

Up at 9.30, did a lot of work on my project. It's a bit of a grind at this stage but I've got some of the basics going. Experimented with some Z80 machine code, using the emulator.

C came round in the evening to watch that George Formby film he insisted I tape yesterday, followed by Men Behaving Badly. The latter's getting increasingly unrealistic - I think the writer needs a rest from it.

Day 1567

Didn't wake up till 10am - made good project progress, starting to understand the processor output file format now. Even though my supervisor never looked at VTPCM it was useful writing it - I've been able to give VT2 a much better structure.

Had fun with the 8-bit emulators - for some reason it's immensely satisfying to pretend to be able to use all those different machines.

Went out in the afternoon to Do It All in a heavy shower to get shelving materials. Put up the shelves, made a good job of it. There was sod-all on telly in the evening, so did some more project experiments.

Still not smoking. I've been surprised how easy it's been. I'm down to 8 or 9 bits of gum a day too - it needs to be 8 to save money over roll-ups (5p/week at 8 bits/day).

Thinking about my supervisor's compliments yesterday I remembered my hopes last year that I might turn out to be really good at computing. But I also found myself regretting (again) that I didn't go on the course in 1992 when I first heard of it. Well, not much I can do about that now. And at least in the intervening 3 years I've learned just what I can put up with if I have to.

Day 1566

Hot thundery night, slept badly, woke up in a mood at eight. Felt better once I was on my way to campus, worked 10.15-4.15 on VTPCM. There were two impressive thunderstorms - the lab has a great view West across the valley and I could see them approach. K left, saying she was scared of thunderstorms.

Saw my supervisor: he did not ask to see VTPCM. But writing it was good practice. I must now start on VT2 - the actual displayer. He's off on holiday for 3 weeks and thinks it should be substantially complete by the time he gets back.

He paid me a big compliment - he said when looking for a job I should not set my sights too low and bear in mind that I was top M.Sc. student and had grasped the background for his work quicker than anyone else he'd worked with. 'Don't end up hacking some company's database about,' he said. Gosh. I always suspected I might have a talent for computing, but this is impressive.

Back at home, started VT2. Thanks to a shrewd bit of downloading on campus, got hold of a Dragon 32 ROM image for the emulator I got yesterday. I can now emulate the ZX81 and Spectrum on my 8086, and the Dragon-32, Oric, and CPC-464 on the 486, thus giving me the functionality of 5 mid-80s 8-bit machines that'd've cost something like £900 in 1982, for about 30p spent downloading the ZX emulators on Sunday.

Pretty hard-working day really. Done 164 hours so far. Not bad.

Day 1565

Really hot today, 80° in the afternoon. Worked on my project (VTPCM). Got certain elements working but it looks a bit poor visually and could work better. Also rewrote ZX-Asteroids on the ZX-81 emulator.

Jo Jones rang up in the evening, quite independently (I mean I hadn't spoken to her about it) and said she didn't fancy the plans for the hen weekend and how about just going for Friday and Saturday. I immediately agreed, as it gets me out of the sillier activities without offending M.

Not smoking has been a lot easier than I thought, thanks to the gum, but I wish I had something else to do while drinking, or after meals. How about sunflower seeds like Mulder?

Seeing my supervisor tomorrow. Hope he doesn't react too badly to VTPCM. I've done 141 hours on it so far (5d23h).

Wouldn't be surprised if a few thunderstorms drifted over from France tonight.

Day 1564

Woke up with a medium-to-nasty hangover at 9.30. Read the PCW I'd thoughtfully brought with me, humourously watched yesterday's Olympic highlights with D. Me and S were quarrelsome in the usual post-visit way. It wore off during the Waltons when D mentioned 'The Little House on the fucking Prairie' and S asked if that was a Quentin Tarantino re-make. Left at 1.10, still smoke-free. Agreed to show D round the net if he visited campus.

When I got home it was extremely hot, even more so than yesterday: stayed in the cool of the computer room, re-orientated myself with my project, tried out the PC ZX81 and Spectrum simulators I got off CServe yesterday. The ZX81 one is classic, very realistic, and even comes with good old Scramble (from Michael Orwin's Cassette Four). What a blast from the past!

It's seven years to the day since I last had sex.

Day 1563

Left at 11.40, got to T's at 1.15. Had a great, relaxed afternoon talking about everything and everyone and sipping splashes of red wine. And not smoking. It was nice to get her to myself for 4 solid hours till D came round. A bit later we went up to the pub for a drink or three, came back about 9.30 and watched the Files, Darkness Falls.

We talked till 4.30 am - I ended up drinking a lot, but not smoking was more important than that, on this occasion.

Day 1562

Went down town to the library, came back to fetch my building society book and went to the branch at Asda, for £40 for weekend and following expenses. Got the new PCW from the newsagent there.

Worked even harder on my project, getting to an advanced stage with my new graphic display, after writing a sub-project to do an expansible grid dependent on the screen size.

In the evening to beer festival. On the way E seemed to be trying to put me off going on this 'hen weekend'.

Afterwards they accompanied me back as far as the Red Lion, from whence I got home in whatever the difference between 11:24.23 and 11:39.42 is for one mile. It really is bizarre the difference that not smoking for 3 days has made to everything. I feel completely different. The best thing is, now I know the gum works, there's no real excuse for not giving up ever again. If this is not smoking, give me more not smoking. 'A strong passion' etc...

Day 1561

Beautiful weather again too, no hangover again. Either a large part of the ill-effects of my hangovers came from smoking, or I've been so preoccupied with not smoking that I simply haven't noticed the symptoms.

Got some useful project work done. Was a bit tempted to break my resolves at about 10.45, but conquered it at the cost of raising gum consumption to 12 pieces a day, making it £5 a week more expensive than smoking. Cheap at the price if it succeeds. But I don't think I can afford not to risk a bit of cash for a purpose like this. I will investigate nicotine patches though.

Found out there is a newsgroup, alt.support.stop.smoking; good quote, 'cigarettes temporarily relieve the symptoms caused by cigarettes'. Rather chimes with yesterday's thought that any lapse would leave me in exactly the same position after five minutes.

Watched Men Behaving Badly. No smoking in it, thankfully.

Day 1560

Well, it's working so far. Beautiful weather. Got a lot of work done on my project while chewing that damn gum every 90 minutes. It does work, but I keep catching myself wanting to slip off for a smoke. But basically all I have to do is keep chewing the gum. It's vile stuff, it tastes like the silver paper you get inside fag packets.

Noticed an improvement in breathing and senses of smell/taste already. My last attempt but one broke down on day 4, which I'll bear in mind (the lemon juice attempt). The visit to T's is a potential flashpoint but she can be trusted not to tempt me, especially since she's thinking of giving up again too.

The crucial points are 3 days, 4 days, a week, 10 days, 2 weeks, 3 months, a month, 2 months and 3 months.

Going out will be difficult but hey, if during the Great Abstinence in 1993 I could go to pubs and not drink, I'm sure I can go there and not smoke.

There was a good feature-length Lovejoy in the evening. I really like Phyllis Logan as Lady Jane, she's not conventionally pretty but does great expressions and walks interestingly.

Went out for a walk later to relieve the tension. Am pleased with the project progress. Indulging in a bit of light George Orwell now.

Day 1559

Saved a pound by getting a ticket to Dulchester West and getting the bus from there, but regretted it as the bus ground, bounced and pounded across town.

Did some experiments in the software engineering lab. Looked up Andrew Mainwaring on the Lowlands uni database and e-mailed him about the exam results. Hope he's pleased. Met my current supervisor at 2pm. Had quite a good discussion - he's good at setting weekly targets so I don't lose track.

In the evening Amanda, M's bridesmaid, rang up to say what she had in mind for the hen weekend. I was a bit unnerved but was pleased it would be next month, as it only leaves me 4 weeks to worry about it. If I don't go, I'll worry about it for 4 years, so it's the lesser of two evils. I can always assert myself if things get out of hand.

That's interesting actually, I very rarely actively assert myself with friends - the attitude of a woman who is never sure how popular she is. It ought to change really. I sort of passively assert myself, ie people respect my minimum standards of behaviour, but up to now I've always been too afraid of rejection to assert myself any more strongly.

Nothing that can't be changed by time eh. Like abandoning smoking tomorrow. Let's hope it works.

Day 1558

It turns out that Imogen Hassall was only in Carry On Loving. The woman in Jungle, Girls etc is someone called Valerie Leon. They don't half look similar though.

Made progress with the text-mode test program for my project. in the evening watched The X-Files - quite a good one about Indians and lycanthropy in Montana. Very atmospheric rain and mist.

Day 1557

Blimey, I enjoyed myself last night, but I had a rotten hangover today. Went out for a walk in the morning to try and speed the metabolic processes up - head stopped aching at 12.45 but I didn't feel normal till 5pm.

Despite the hangover got some work done on writing a QBasic prog to parse the input file for my project. It's important to keep the work ticking over.

Day 1556

Up rather early for a Saturday at 9.30. Went round to C's and on to the libe, got a surname dictionary and bought the two issues of PCW I couldn't carry home on Monday.

Had dinner early at twelve, worked on my project, testing container classes for the lists I'll need. Went on the WWW to get Old English stuff.

Re-stuffed my big cushion, sewed up the rent while listening to play on R4 about Louis Armstrong. It wasn't a pretty job but it worked.

After tea phoned M and agreed to meet her and her brother and E at the Crown. Set the video for The X-Files - Miracle Man, one I particularly wanted to see. Had a brilliant evening talking about the wedding, relatives, T etc. I pointed out that this should be the last time they'd see me smoking. M's brother was driving so I got him to drop me off here afterwards.

Day 1555

Up early again for a massive C++ stint. By the end of the day I'd got a Windows versh of the guess-the-hidden-point game going. Think it's starting to come together.

Went round to the chemist to investigate anti-smoking stuff; the pharmacist warned me that people tended to get addicted to the gum (though, he said, it was good for business) but I thought something that satisfied an oral need would be good.

Good film of Nelson Mandela in Brixton and at South Africa House today.

To M and E's in the evening. Made a sort of tentative arrangement to join up with their meal at the Crown tomorrow evening.

Day 1554

Borrowed mum's car and went to Dulchester, worked on some C++. It was graduation day and the pay-and-display machines were covered up, so stayed unusually long for a car day, till about 2.15.

Came back and did more C++. Practised handwriting again.

Watched a rather dark and serious ep of Men Behaving Badly. Read some more O. Henry.

Day 1553

Did some C++, then worked exceedingly hard at solving the CompuServe problem. With an idea from Technical Support I finally managed to get through on an ASCII teletype, and found an answer to my forum message. It seems the combination of a modem on COM4 and an S3 graphics card can cause trouble. Turned off hardware graphics acceleration as suggested; WinCIM worked!

C came round in the evening: printed him some change-of-address cards and updated his web page. Read some more O. Henry.

Good cartoon in the paper of Heath (he's 80) outlasting Th**r and Major.

Day 1552

Slept exactly 8 hours, give or take 10 seconds. To campus. Did a JavaScript Julian Date calculator, saw my supervisor who suggested a lot of things I should do for my project. He OK'd me to do it in Visual C++ which will make things a lot better CV-wise.

Back after a weary walk due to the new boots not being broken in yet. Read the O. Henry book on the train. Nice soothing reading for travelling.

Cooked my tea, dug out that C++ book I was using last autumn and set to work learning how to use ClassWizard etc. It's not as easy as Visual Basic but gives you more power.

Btw, found out you can print, draw etc onto forms in VB. Thought it wasn't allowed. Does look a bit messy I suppose.

Practiced my Chancery Cursive for those wedding place cards E wants me to do, gave my project some general thought.

Day 1551

Took back the XView book (don't need it now I've got the manuals on disc), renewed the Xlib one, got 6 old PCW's for 20p each out of historical interest. Also got a massive collection of O. Henry short stories from the cheap bookshop for 99p. They're a bit moral but have got great period feel - about 20 years pre-Runyon.

Got my project platforms assessment printed out. Also a screen shot of my project prototype.

Had a reply to one of my forum messages about Win 95/WinCIM: a bloke with the same problem asking me to pass on the solution if I found it.

Watched The X-Files (EBE) not bad, particularly 'Sure I find it remotely plausible someone might think you're hot.'

Day 1550

Busy day for a Sunday. Went round to M's to borrow a magazine to help with the Winsock problem, then to Staples to see if the Plus Pack would be any use - it wasn't. I got a typing chair for my computer - the existing chair is not suitable for typing, it gives me rotten backache.

In the afternoon finished off the XView document conversions with some clever QBASIC programming while listening to the Wimbledon final.

M rang up to say I should expect a phone call from her uny pal about the hen night, or hen weekend as she worryingly referred to it. Warned her if there were any stripagrams I wasn't interested.

Day 1549

Five years to the very day and day of the week since I left Lowlands. Continued wrestling with the Windows 95/CServe conflict. Thought I'd hit on the solution in the afternoon when I compared WINSOCK.DLL dates, but it was a false lead. Rang up M and she said she knew someone at work who'd had the same prob. Rang up Technical Support again and must've worn them out because the woman said the Windows 95 expert would get onto it and ring me back next week.

Rode round to M's in the evening after a particularly exhausting bout of XView manual postscript-to-text conversion. E suggested I could develop parallel C++/XView versions of my project (as I'd thought earlier) and pointed out that even the VB prototype would be CV-able. M pointed out that even XView has to be written in C. Will present their comments to my supervisor on Tuesday.

Rode home, like swimming through cool dark water, I thought.

Well. The last five years have been very instructive. Let's hope there's not too much repetition in the next five, eh?

Day 1548

Had to go into town, so decided to measure the distance on my bike between here and C's new place. 1.7 miles, slightly further than M's but all uphill.

In Wilton Books I found a book with the Java compiler on CD. It needs Windows 95. I went to the computer shop, Office World and the new Staples on the site of Homebase to compare prices. Eventually got it on credit card from Staples for £77. Got home and plunged into a saga of phone calls to Compuserve Technical Support - WinCIM would not work with Windows 95. Packed it in about 7pm and reinstalled it.

Strangely, no-one has reported a similar problem. Lucky they've got an 0800 number.

Took a break in the afternoon, brought my radio outside and listened to the test match.

Massive thunderstorm 6.45-8pm, very exciting.

Day 1547

Five years since graduation. Borrowed mum's car and drove up to Effolk. Got them to reset my password, but apparently it won't take effect till tomorrow morning. So I was limited to a bit of JavaScript and some web surfing.

E came round - as predicted, she has selected her uny pal as bridesmaid. She said it would've been me had I not already effectively declined. I did so because I'm not really the type you have to be to be bridesmaid. Nice to be in the running though.

Watched Men Behaving Badly. I think he's going for comedy-in-depth this time, the scenes are longer and the gags subtler.

Day 1546

After some false starts got down to producing a project prototype with XView. I was impressed how easy it is if you take the trouble to plan. A canvas is just a picture box, nothing more complicated or frightening than that.

Yes, I was pleasantly surprised enough to start compiling my own XView manual from that library book. Btw, discovered why it's such a hard book to follow - the chapters are in alphabetical order. Wish I'd noticed that before.

T rang up in the morning to tell me about some teaching assistant's job at the University of Wales she'd seen on the WWW and thought I should apply for.

Day 1545

To Effolk in the morning - busy sky with promise of activity later. Had fun outpacing the clouds in the train.

Saw my adviser. He congratulated me and we made various project plans. He said in his project report he was pleased how quickly I'd picked the stuff up, functional languages weren't part of the course etc.

After that went to get my results. The secretary called me the 'star student'. I got 94 for the studies! Actually, that's less of a surprise, it was just regurgitation, but 94! That's my all-time exam record, beating 90 in 2nd-year Chemistry in 1983. My composite mark was 83.4. I can't believe these results. Still, I must've done it. And I'm top stude too. My project'd better live up to it.

Translated into D&D ability scores the results are 15, 17, 17, 13 for the group proj, 17 and 19.

After tea went round to see C's new place. Not bad, bit of a musty smell but surely that's dispersable. Came back, checked my e-mail.

Day 1544

Decided to go to Lakeside. Came back, made project notes, worked on the XView application.

Day 1543

Amazing what a difference going to bed 55 minutes earlier has made. I woke up at nine feeling ready for action.

Made some more project notes. Progress a bit slow, but I've allowed another 3 weeks for note-taking. Hopefully my supervior can give me some pointers in the coming week.

Have tentatively planned to make Tuesday and Thursday my Effolk days during the project era.

Day 1542

Made functional language notes, updated my CV to reflect the fact that I am now qualified at postgraduate diploma level. Explored the saucier parts of the net but in the end had to resolve not to do so again. One can build up an unhealthy interest in such things.

Experimented with JavaScript - many possibilities, especially now I've got a decent local connection to CServe, even if it is at 9600 baud instead of 28,800.

Decided to give M&E some rest from me this week. They did turn out on Tuesday, after all. (What a night that was!) Was surprised at my own display of selflessness.

Day 1541

Made notes on the functional languages book. Worked on an XView file system navigator, a bit like the prog I've just done in Windows. Xview has no file or directory list boxes, so I had to write my own routine for filling a list box with a directory listing. Got it working perfectly, but it wasn't easy.

Went round to Mum's, talked to C. He intends to move out on Tuesday - said I'd give him a hand.
Installed Page Plus on Mum's laptop. Taped Is It Legal? Watched the last Blackadder 4 which was on because of the 80th anniversary of the Somme.

Day 1540

Felt rotten in the morning again - it didn't wear off till about 4pm. I should seriously reconsider daytime celebratory drinking.

Got some programming done, surfed the web at the new cheap local rate.

Drew up a plan for the project. I've given myself 3 weeks for the basics, 1 week for design and intensive XView study and 7 weeks for implementation and dissertation-writing.

in the evening watched Men Behaving Badly. Interesting ideas but rather poorly executed.

The exam results have done wonders for the old self-esteem. They've put an end to two years of fearing further failure. The Win has been achieved.

Day 1539

Put £13 in loose change into the bank, got to campus at 2.30. Then waited about 3 hours for the results to be posted, occupying the time with some XView, net-surfing and renewing library books.

Walking through the corridors, caught myself feeling nostalgic for winter lunchtimes.

As my adviser had warned me, the results were not very exciting; just an alphabetical list of the people who'd be allowed to do dissertations.

The union bar had been accidentally burnt down (!) so went in the other one for a quick couple of pints. Watched France v. Czechoslovakia, spoke to P who was watching it too.

Got the 1830 bus. It was a hot, still, grey evening. There were heavy drops of rain on the way but it came to nothing.

Home by eight. England lost in the semi-final to Germany on penalties, again.

It's been a rather anticlimactic day. Suppose I'd better start thinking about the project now (only 2 months 24 days to go).

Also, waiting at the bus stop in the evening I could not put myself back into the anxious mindset however hard I tried. Like the Collector's, my collapsed will has once again been shored up with the strongest timbers.

Day 1538

'I came top out of us'. Yes! Logged on to CompuServe at 10.30 to find a message from my adviser. It said, basically, not to tell anyone but I'd come top of MSc. Computer Science. So, to labour the point, I did better than anyone, even the ex-telecom engineers and dedicated Chinese lads. Gosh cor wow. I don't think I've been first in anything since I won the U6th Geography prize at school. My adviser said it gave him a warm feeling to know he was supervising 'this year's top gun'. Blimey.

Well, naturally I was rather pleased, and strolled down to the Cricketers for a celebratory drink, all the better for appreciating my ability to have one and stop there.

Mum and dad were suitably pleased. C went so far as to buy a card and bottle of wine, which was nice. Then at 8pm M rang to say we should indeed bring forward tomorrow's outing and meet at the Crown. Hīr þū hast þat þīn is. Walked back in a 'mediterranean' summer evening.

It crosses my mind that there is a prize of £100 to the post-graduate with the best overall exam/project performance.

Better go up to Effolk tomorrow to see the results for real and perhaps have a drink or two. As I said this morning, thanks to all concerned. A leisurely 3pm departure for 5pm results posting should see me right.

Can we ever have had better proof of the maxim that has stood me in good stead for 10 years or more: A strong passion for any object will ensure success, for the desire of the end will point out the means.

Day 1537

MIDSUMMER DAY. Went to the library in the morning, renewed all those computing career-type books I got out 3 weeks ago. (It's an act of faith).

Tidied up the hard disc on the 486.

They're putting the Files on twice a week, once at 11 pm on Saturday for flip's sake. That'll have to be videoed.

2 days to the results (34¼ hours). I hope they come out early on the day. Realised that the commiseration/ celebration session clashes with the England v Germany semi-final. Will have to sort things out with M.

Way over-the-top tabloid coverage of the match today btw. Anyone would think the war had still been going on these last 51 years.

Day 1536

Made some more modifications to C's web page. Leafed through the shareware catalogue and saw that 123 clone, AsEasyAs; went onto CompuServe and found it with the File Finder, downloaded it in 2½ mins (7p). Installed it on my computer. For shareware CompuServe is excellent - and the WINSOCK logon now takes only 30 seconds, same as the old CIS-only only one, thanks to the new WinCIM 2.0.1 that came with the TSB package.

3 days till the results. Just Monday and Tuesday still to wait. Nerve-racking.

Day 1535

A certain amount of computing updating C's web page and installing the new WinCIM and the TSB program - no PIN for the latter yet because of the postal strike.

It must be obvious I've mended this pen. The end of a cartridge had got stuck in it. Surprised I didn't think of that before. While solving that problem, was pleased to find that the screwdriver tips in my new socket set fit my ratchet screwdriver - making it useful for extra Phillips sizes plus star screws and Allen keys.

M rang up in the afternoon to say come round and watch Spain v England. I was also invited for the evening, but she rang at 7.10 to say E had decided to go out for a meal instead. Well, I was worried about taking up too much of their time together, and it'll stand me in good stead the next time we meet.

Finished What Katy Did (Quod Fecit Caterinilla) which is more sophisticated than I remembered.

Whatever happens on Wednesday with the results, I'll need a clear head to face it. It's a New Age for sure if it turns out right, and if it doesn't, well, I haven't bet more than I could afford to lose, and, as today's bad bits have shown, If it wasn't for disappointment, I wouldn't have any appointment. And I have walked the length of Southend Pier and back.

Day 1534

Five years since the finals results - two years since I got sacked from ABC. Perhaps I can forget about it now.

Went to Southend with C, walked to the end of the pier. Had a half there. Walked all the way back (about 1½ miles each way, I reckon). I've always wanted to do that. Got C to take a picture of me pretending to be Arthur Daley in the new Minder creds.

C being off has been fun and has taken my mind off the 5-day wait for the results.

Day 1533

Into town in the morning to get Mum's present. Stopped for a look at this flat C's thinking of renting.

Day 1532

I did dream I found it (under a newspaper in my room) but when I woke up there was no paper to look under. C suggested we go to Raindon; walked along the river, looked at the salt-marshes. Made a nice change.

I spent most of the day thinking about the apparently immovable wait for the results. (7 days to go). Still, it's better than the apparently open-ended waiting of my last period of unemployment.

Read The Phoenix and the Carpet. It's actually rather clever and has references that can be seen in computer science terms - recursion etc. I think a really good children's book is one you still want to read when you've grown up.

Last episode of ST: TNG today. Nice sarcastic reference by Q to 'your trek through the stars'. They're putting Voyager on in the autumn. I'd like to have proper Star Trek back.

Day 1531

Rearranged my room, getting rid of the stereo cupboard - the stereo is now on the computer trolley. At last there's room to sit down in front of the computer.

Sat down to watch England v. Holland but then remembered I'd misplaced the wedding invitation. Spent the whole match looking for it, unsuccessfully. Result 4-1, to England amazingly.

Read The Second Stain to see if it could inspire me to find the invitation.

Day 1530

Removed unread books to the loft at my parents' to make room on my shelves here.

Watched ST:TNG (penultimate ep) and Fire - triffic X-File. I liked Scully's behaviour when confronted with Mulder's old flame.

Started The Prisoners of September again.

Day 1529

Woke up at 10.50 to another beautiful day. Walked T to the station, came back via Sainsbury's for vegetable curry and indigestion tablets.

Had a pleasant drowsy sunny afternoon designing a new FSA lexical analyser.

In the evening watched the repeat of Friday Night Armistice. I like the gags but the bits where they faux-naively confront people are just embarrassing.

Read Coming Up For Air.

Today was 16.6.96; 16x6=96. How often does that happen?

Day 1528

Wrote out French pronunciations for M's mum, walked round and delivered them. Came back via the Co-op for fizzy water. Watched England v. Scotland - first half very boring, second half much more exciting with goals by Shearer and Gazza.

Met T at the station at 7.15, and we joined M and E at the Cricketers. We managed to stay till 11.38 without even getting hassled - a record. The other bar was full of 16-year-olds; strange, because 10 years ago the Cricketers had the reputation of being very difficult for under-age drinking.

Came back here with T, ate Stilton and posh crisps, drank tea and watched The X-Files and Quantum Leap (What Price Gloria?) till 5.10 am. It started getting light at 3.30 and the Sun was just coming over the houses when we each went to bed.

Day 1527

Went into town with C in the morning, got two Postscript books from the library. Saw him off to his Euro '96 match at Elland Road tomorrow.

Used the Postscript books to good effect; created a .ps file which Ghostscript could read, and found that anything in brackets is a string literal. With that I was able to extract the text from the Xview manual pages. Also worked on my own computer on a LISP parser.

Went round to M's mum's house for the barbeque at six. We actually got some food cooked! It was great fun. Agreed to write out some French pronunciations for a play M's mum's auditioning for. Left about 8.50, and went on to M and E's. M extended a provisional invitation to watch England v Scotland there tomorrow afternoon.

Back here by 11.30, saw Deneb, Vega and Altair, and Capella low in the North. Still light in the sky there ½ hour before midnight.

Day 1526

Borrowed mum's car, drove to Dulchester; luckily found all the XView Answerbook files. Zipped them up and copied them. T e-mailed me to say she'd be slightly late on Saturday owing to England v Scotland but should be here by 6.30.

Came back, spent a long time trying to view the files which were all in Postscript format. Then spent a long time trying to extract the text. Maybe some knowledge of the Postscript language would help - I'll look in the library tomorrow.

M came round with a wedding invitation. And she and E are having a barbecue at her mum's tomorrow evening, she invited me to drop by.

13 days till the results come out. 'It's the waiting I can't stand, Carruthers.'

Day 1525

Worked very hard on the prototype for my project. Got it working rather well. The project might be quite good fun - of course Visual Basic is much easier to use than XView.

Went to Sainsburys by bike in the morning for tea ingredients. Was bothered by the comparison between the ABC period two years ago and this period of waiting for the exam results. It would be a bit of a downer to do all this project work and then fail, though I don't think I will. Results in two weeks. Think I'll pop up to campus tomorrow and copy the Xview demo programs.

Day 1524

Worked rather hard on a Visual Basic prototype for the project, with good success. I even implemented a drag-and-drop routine which looks very professsional.

Went out for a walk round the old 1991 route in the morning - past M's old house and thought about the first era of good times (Jan 1992-Sep 1993). I say 'first' because at the time I was thinking of them as good times that had finished. It took me a moment to realise that the good times returned in May 1995, and not a moment too soon either.

End-of-diary-volume pontification: here I am a long way from November's worries about assignments - the wait for the exam results is the only thing preventing me from contemplating a hard-working but interesting future. It's all very like the end of Keep The Aspidistra Flying, and if my prospects aren't quite so assured then at least I haven't suffered so much as Gordon Comstock.

Day 1523

Successfully turned my XView template into a module, an idea I had last night. So I can alter my main program without having to recompile all the X stuff every time. Wrote a good calculator program on the back of it.

Lovejoy was on in the afternoon so I watched it, after an exercise-based bike ride. More Xview in the afternoon, got 282,000 on Battlezone, my all-time record.

In the evening watched The X-Files. Have decided to give up smoking again, starting on July 16th. I've got to do it before I'm 30 so I might as well start. Those nicotine patches might be helpful.

Day 1522

17 days till the results. Did plenty of work on an Xview calculator; with medium success. Played the Euro '96 game. Watched bits of the 3 real Euro '96 matches

Worked out I can have 54 minutes' download time to Effolk for the price of driving up there for one hour. Will bear that in mind in this pre-results period.

Day 1521

Impressive classic cold-front passage last night, with gusts, rain, thunder and lightning and the temperature dropping 3°F in 10 minutes.

Rather grey and rainy today. Borrowed mum's car and drove to PC World, bought the Euro 96 game as a post-exam reward.

Got it working in the afternoon. It was suffering from the Diamond video card power saver TSR; set up a multiple config.sys to remedy the problem.

Phoned M but got that BT (Bastard Tories) woman who says 'Please hold the line.' Can't complain really, we've been out every Saturday night for weeks. It'll make a change to stay in.

Read through my project progress report - only 18 days till the results so I ought to get some project preparation in.

Day 1520

Bashed my recursive directory lister into shape, went into town again, got a pair of thin trousers which'll be more comfortable than jeans if if we have more of this weather.

Rest of the day hot and peaceful. I think I'll start making notes from the functional languages book for my project on Monday. I need something to do and it seems silly not to think about about my project just in case I fail the exams.

Carried on with Keep The Aspidistra Flying.

Day 1519

Got up early and went to campus to bring back the stuff about my project that my supervisor put on my disc. Got the functional languages book out of the library there, located the results noticeboard - 20 days to go. Conceded to the hot weather so far as to wear shorts.

Came back and worked hard at trying to get my Unix recursive directory lister to work. For some reason it wrongly identifies files in deeper directories as directories and tries to open them: 'segmentation fault'.

In the afternoon rode to Sainsburys and got salad for tea. Made a big green salad, a bowl of celery to dip in mayonnaise and cheese to go with the spring onions, plus pasties and cold potatoes. Ideal for this very hot weather.

It's two years since I started that job at ABC. They say you can stop grieving for anything after two years. They may well be right. Certainly I've felt better and very positive these past two or three days. It's probably the absolute and unguilty post-exam leisure, not like being unemployed at all. Of course I can't be sure of the results but the positive feeling is the important thing, and I can't change the results now.

Read The Road to Wigan Pier. Might read Aspidistra next, as I am having experiences very similar to Gordon Comstock's at the moment.

Day 1518

Experimented with various computing things, copied down the 1-2-3 macros.

Went into town to the library, still could not find anything in the shops for a post-exam reward.

Email from my adviser, he said the exam results would be out on the 26th. So I've got three weeks' leisure.

Cooked Spanish fish casserole with white wine for tea. Ideal for the hot weather.

Day 1517

Went into town by bike, strolled around, got a new diary book. Came back, experimented with Xview and LISP. It reminded me a lot of being unemployed, but not too badly.

Day 1516

'I've finished my last exam and the summer term is over'.

Up about 9.30, got two sessions done, 209 altogether or 104½ hours' work. Drove to Dulchester, had a great run through sunny countryside.

Got there about one, did the exam. The exams have got progressively easier, except this one.

Home at 6.15. Put all my notes in the defunct box. No more ADTs, environment-store mapping etc. Better not drift though - we've got projects to do.

Watched The X-Files.

Day 1515

One year since I bought ANSI C. Revised hard, doing 2 extra sessions. 207 sessions done altogether. C came round, he said his friends appreciated my Effolk web page and its Dr Who content.

Science exam tomorrow at 2pm. All over in 18 hours.

Day 1514

Got 5 sessions done; rang M in the afternoon and went round by bike to drink tea and give her Prospects Today, which was well received.

To the Crown in the evening with M and E; S turned up late with her boyfriend, and unfortunately they brought Barber and Fanta with them. M wasn't best pleased. For a while, as we had a few more drinks, things eased up, Fanta was quite witty. I contributed my knowledge of the alt.sex.fetish newsgroups to the conversation. Someone had to.

Walked home on my own, as M was still annoyed and S etc had vanished.

6 sessions planned for tomorrow. 199 done so far, 99½ hours altogether.

Day 1513

Got to campus early. Went to the coffee shop for a pre-exam cuppa, fag and Mirror read. 8.20 am and just like old times, eh?
Natalie asked what I was doing there at such an ungodly hour. I explained I wanted to get ready for my exam. She wished me luck and I thanked her and it apparently worked. It was the easiest exam I've ever done in my life, though out of 3 hours I was writing for 2hrs 57 minutes.

Conversed with M afterwards, we agreed one could've just read an issue of PCW beforehand and passed it.

Day 1512

Much hotter today. Got 10 sessions of revision done. In fact I noticed the signs of revision saturation.

M rang up to tell me that our infant school is celebrating its 25th anniversary and asking for memorabilia from former pupils. We noted that in 1975 we must have been the fourth intake.

Read a book C got from Oxfam, a be-your-own-lawyer book published in 1901. Dead interesting. Was inspired by it to read selected Sherlock Holmes stories. Apparently £50 was an average price for a horse then. Now, if in The Noble Bachelor a room at a posh hotel was 6s, or 30p, that's (say) £200, or 600x as much. Therefore the horse costs £3,000, or as much as a decentish second-hand car, which makes sense.

Bed at midnight preparatory to 9 am 3-hour exam. And don't worry, I haven't forgotten my resolve to stop the REM sleep loss.

Day 1511

Had quite disturbed night, waking up at 4.30 am and being subjected to scary hypnogogic visions when I went back to sleep.

Having spare space in the revision day went to Southend, spent 20 minutes in a traffic jam on the A127. Walked up and down the front and beach appreciating the sea air.

Came back, looked up 'hypnogogic' in the encyclopædia and found that boozing (or taking speed or whatever) deprives one of REM sleep. When one boozes less one gets an REM rebound where one spends much more of the night dreaming, and they tend to be unpleasant and vivid dreams.

Spoke to T on phone, she told me of an interesting theory that, if alc/drugs prevent you having dreams, you may go into dream-like states during the day, and that would explain a hell of a lot.

Day 1510

Only got 6 sessions done as I went to Dulchester to get vital science revision stuff. Had a long talk with C (you can't have a short chat with that lad!) about our group project mark and the exams. He's finished his, being a part-timer; he wished me luck with mine.

Day 1509

My parents said I could use their car while they're away if I drove them in it to Stansted, so up at 8.30.

Got 8 sessions of revision done, actually got lex to work.

Watched the Dr Who film. It took extreme liberties with the mythos. 'He's British,' explains temporary companion Grace. 'Yes, I suppose I am,' says the Dr, though what Drs 3 and 4 would've thought of that I don't know.

Day 1508

Not only got 3/4 sessions done even before I'd planned to start, but got 2 of tomorrow's sessions done too.

Put in some time on my parser - it needs redesigning to avoid backtracking as that Brown Compilers book suggests.

Day 1507

Got 5 sessions done, as planned.

To the Crown in the evening with M and E. We had a really good conversation about E's family, the upcoming Dr Who film and wedding arrangements.

Last night read that thing I wrote on Sep.1, 1989 about how dodgy I was feeling. It's been going on 6½ years and yet there's been a steady improvement in my character and prospects. Never forget, I'm never so close to solving it as I am when I am most strongly affected by it. I must say 'Roll with it' has been my closest approach so far.

Day 1506

Rained all day. Got 8 sessions done, 1 more than planned. Don't think studies'll be much trouble. Science might be more of an ordeal though.

Had an e-mail from T - 'End of an Era' as she finishes at her job. Next weel she's starting her 18 grand PR job. She says she'll come back as 'Lynn Franks mk. 2'.

It's dead good this e-mail. We've been communicating nearly every day for nearly 9 months at very little cost.

Vacuumed the whole house, played Sim City, read Herodotus. Nice to have a day without an exam for a change. A leisurely 5 sessions planned for tomorrow.

Day 1505

Exam went well. Estimated mark 60.5. Talked to M before it. He was pleased with our group project mark. Surfed the Web for a bit before coming home.

Relaxed for a change: dumped all the databases, engineering, C++ and group project notes in the defunct box.
Now I've got 7 days to revise for science/studies and 2 days for just science. I can slacken off from 10 sessions/day but I mustn't let it go completely as there's a lot of material to cover.

T rang up at 7.15, she was showing Ms Touchy around the Internet from work. Got an e-mail from the latter later (!), replied. Played Sim City

The exams seem to've come very quickly, in fact the whole MSc year has gone very fast. I've been doing it 7½ months but it doesn't seem like it. It either seems like 10 minutes or 3 years. Roll on the results eh?

Day 1504

Rainy, windy day. Got to campus about 2.10, did the exam. Ran out of time again.
Collected the two assignments. Got 70 and 80.

There wasn't really time for anything else to happen. I plan to take tomorrow afternoon and evening off before embarking on the science/studies revision. They are double courses so should I do twice as much revision? Well, the material is easier and also better-explained so perhaps not. I have done 39 sessions each for the other courses; to bring these two up to that level would take a total of 50 sessions. I've got 9 days and we mustn't forget weekends, the Bank Holiday and my birthday. I'll have to draw up a plan.

2 down, 3 to go.

Day 1503

Did the 13 sessions, 6½ hours. Started early so finished at 9.49pm. Hard work.

Got the group project mark e-mail. We got 67% - excellent! And my Implementation & Testing Plan got 11/15, 73% and some very complimentary comments. Also, our FRS mark was revised from 64% to 72%. Even better.

Engineering exam tomorrow, C++ on Wednesday. I hope they're not as trying as the databases.

Pris soon.

Afterwards!!! There will be no more Pris. The first I heard was the continuity announcer before the ads before the programme saying it was the last ever. And it was. Ferguson did get arrested, so bang go the 'boat' and 'no conclusion' theories. What am I going to do on Tuesday and Thursday nights? It never did get to MCMLXXXVII (1987).

I am proud to have been part of the history of Anglia Pris. And it's been a hell of a long haul. When I first saw it England were still in the World Cup. I must've seen something between 300 and 450 episodes. Goodbye Fay, Hazel, Judy, Vicky, Bobby, Sam, Daphne, Myra, Reb, Spike and others too numerous to mention.

End of an era.

Day 1502

At campus by eight. Everyone stood around nervously outside the exam hall - like being taken back five years to the finals. The exam was a bit doubtful - I made heavy weather of the first question and didn't have much time for the second two.

Came back via a fruitless search in the campus bookshop and the one in Mugsborough for a particular C++ book. Did six sessions of C++, running through the examples in the notes with the VC++ debugger - most illuminating. Glad I did it.

Watched Space, the one with Marcus Aurelius Belt in it.

Jon Pertwee died today. They showed clips from Day of the Daleks and Planet of the Spiders on the news. Wonder if they'll show anything as a tribute, especially with the film coming up? I like to think he's just regenerated...

Hard day altogether. Think on this - I'll never have to look at databases again unless I'm being paid to.

Day 1501

More databases revision, plus some C++ practice. T rang up to wish me luck. M came round and wished me luck too.

One consolation of the looming exam (12 hours away) is that by noon tomorrow I need not know anything about the databases course. I've done 39 sessions for it, 19½ hours for a 2-hour exam.

Day 1500

Got 2 seshes done in total. Played Sim City.

To M's in the evening. Just as I got back the drizzle turned into heavy rain and I got soaked putting my bike away.

Databases exam in only 2 days.

Day 1499

Another 10 sessions, five hours. Overslept so had to shorten breaks to fit them all in.

Very cold as central heating still broken.

Only 3 days till the databases exam. I don't think I'll go for 10 sessions tomorrow, I'm approaching saturation point database-wise as it is. Sunday I'll have to devote to going over key points etc.

Done 110 sessions altogether, 55 hours. That's 4½ hours' revision for every hour of exams. I hope it's enough. Let's see: I've done 140 lectures. At 50 min each that's 117 hours. So I've spent 47% as much time revising as I have being lectured, or to put it another way, 20 lectures is 16 hours, so my revision has been the equivalent of 3.3 terms of lectures. That is a significant commitment and ought to get me through, especially given I've always been fairly good at exams.

Dr Who film trailed on BBC1 tonight. Will it be good?

Day 1498

Got some questions answered at the revision lecture.

Came back and got 4 revision sessions done, total 100. Found a way to change the internal city name in Sim City - useful, because lots of them tend to end up being called New City. It's stored as a string and a length byte at the very end of the file.

I'm quite pleased with my revision, I'm really getting a handle on the database stuff. My technique is to go through the notes and write down everything I don't understand. Then I look it all up in Elmasri, writing down anything I don't understand. Then read the notes again... It seems to be quite effective but only time will tell.

Revision is very dull at 10 sessions a day, but I'm investing time now for a future return.

Day 1497

Another five hours' revision. Rather cold weather. ST: TNG quite good with the crew 'de-evolving' - absolute bollocks scientifically but interesting to watch.

C++ revision lecture tomorrow.

Day 1496

Five hours' solid engineering revision. Was struck by an ironic thought while revising project management - how ironic it was that I should be studying that, who got slung out of my only proper job after 2 weeks (by a complete bastard). Strange things do happen.

Got an e-mail from T about her daydreams about David Duchovny.

Watched Men Behaving Badly. '"Not so different now," Toby opined.

The Dr Who film comes out on video tomorrow, eight years since the last ep. Don't hold out much hope of it being any good myself.

Definitely saw the phase on Venus again. I think she's at maximum brilliance this week.

Day 1495

Did seven sessions of C++ revision, 74 all together..

Reading my 1989 diary yesterday made me think. I was much more out-of-control then than I feared I was in 1995. All perspective.

Watched The X-Files - Ice. Very very good, like a 3rd/4th Dr Dr Who story. Excellent. More revision tomorrow, gosh what fun. First exam in one week.

Definitely saw a phase on Venus - new crescent. Never managed to see it before. Very pleasing.

Day 1494

Got plenty of C++ revision done, did an example inheritance as an experiment. Understood virtual functions anyway.

Went out briefly to the shop, that summer night smell was in the air and Venus was visible.

I get the feeling I am drifting in my usual tortured way towards better things. It's such slow going though. Things are slowly working themselves out - I am slowly working things out.

More revision tomorrow. What fun.

Day 1493

Did five studies revision seshes. Watched the FA Cup, Man U won. Experimented with fork() under Linux. Read Of Mice & Men but stopped as I could see the way it was going. Read Cannery Row instead.

Today's entry doesn't take long to read, does it? Hard work and so forth doesn't make long diary entries. Central heating not working so very cold.

Day 1492

Put the IDP documentation on the group directory after handing in my C++ and group project stuff. Yes! We have finished the group project. And I've finished all my coursework.

At home tidied up the computer room. Sim City-wise, got Flint to 90,000 population and 'Flint Has Taken Off'. Also finally got a Hard city off the ground (hydro-electric power is the key).

Got the lighting brackets fixed on my bike, rode round to M's. Coming back rememberedI haven't ridden a bike pissed since June 1990, nearly 6 years ago. Didn't have any lights then.

Day 1491

Off at eight to campus. Conversed via e-mail with T, went to the C++ revision lecture, captured the results for the assignments.

Came back, played Sim City; beat the Malibu scenario and, finally, the Flint scenario. Still could not get a Hard-level city off the ground. Regenerating Flint more than made up for it. The Roger & Me bloke would be proud.

After much difficulty printed out four group project documents and two C++ assignments. I had to change to the LQ emulation to do it. No more group project (apart from handing the buggers in). E-mailed T in triumph.

I've been on the course 7 months now. I appear to have been completely regenerated. Gosh. Not had that feeling since the Summer of Love in 1988..

Day 1490

Worked all day on group project stuff. E-mailed T, she responded with a missing tampon saga. A forwarded e-mail from the C++ lecturer threw my assignment plans into confusion - I'll have to go up early tomorrow, try and get in the software engineering lab and make copies of the results of my progs. Fucking bastard.

Watched ST: TNG.

Day 1489

Had a good (last) group project meeting. Indulged in some mutual congratulation. Commiserated with N over Ipswich's failing to get into the play-offs on Sunday.

Was going home at 12.50 when Natalie hailed me and invited me to do another psychology test. Got £3 for 45 minutes' work.

Weather strange combination of being hot and windy. Played Sim City and worked hard on the Implementation and Testing Plan.

Two days at home of revision and group project stretch ahead. Good opportunity to get some hard work in.

Day 1488

Bank holiday so I sat about a bit. Got four revision sessions done. Watched the first hour of The Lavender Hill Mob. The trouble with Ealing comedies is they always get caught.

Then embarked on a double X-Files session, delayed 25 minutes by the snooker. I have a special commission from T to tape all X-Files (she has currently got no video) so I dared not miss 'em.

Day 1487

Got 4 science revision sessions done plus working on those damn group project things and playing Sim City. Designed Mugsborough for SC.

Put those rechargeable batteries back in my Psion, it worked OK again.

There was a woman in the curry house last night who looked exactly like Merle from Pris, except less huge. She was even wearing the same check shirt. It was uncanny.

Day 1486

Up about 9.30, revised by implementing my precision arithmetic thing as a C ADT. Interspersed this with Sim City till 4.30. Beautiful sunny afternoon.

In the evening out for a curry. E. asked me in consequence of the discussion whether I wanted children, which I said was like asking a hitch-hiker whether she was going to drive to Edinburgh.

Had a great feeling of Here þu hast þat þīn is.

Walked back with S and her boyfriend Aaron. S not ranting this evening, he's obviously a positive influence. There were extraordinary numbers of pissed people about but no atmosphere of threat. It was like New Year as Aaron said. Must be the bank holiday weekend.

Day 1485

Tories lost 560 seats, lost Basildon, lost all their seats in Oxford, Manchester and Newcastle and lost Tunbridge Wells to the Liberals. Vote share Lab 43-Con 28, cf 36 each a year before the last general election. With 54 weeks 6 days at most to go, come on Tony. The Day approaches.

At campus the exam blurb had arrived in the pigeonholes. 17 days to go. Had the last science revision lecture, worked on my precision arithmetic program. Lecturer didn't turn up for the engineering, so went home and got three science revision sessions in.

In the evening watched Hi-de-hi. Why is it so much funnier 12 years later? C's theory is that it's because comedy has declined so much since.

Had another letter from D, seemingly in fine form. Unusual for her to write twice in such a short period of time.

Day 1484

Before our Design Review Meeting N mentioned the proposal that his football team play the staff. I said it was a pity as the C++ lecturer could be the best goalie in the world without even moving; N said the engineering bloke would be pretty handy in midfield with all the ground he covers (he walks up and down continually during lectures).

Went to the Cricketers to meet M and E. S came along later, she has become very reactionary since I last saw her, in some ways it was rather unpleasant.
M plans to get pissed by herself after seeing Men Behaving Badly (involving extreme pissedness) on Tuesday.

Local elections going very well, Labour gaining Basildon and the Tories losing 400 seats with half the votes in. Good going.

Day 1483

Started revising at 10am, got in eleven sessions altogether (5½ hours solid). Finished at 8pm. Played Sim City for relaxation. I'm very proud I've managed to use the time so profitably.

Apparently the Tories had 240 councils in 1979, they now have 14. They've lost 94% of their councils! Tomorrow is the elections. Judging by the number of Labour posters in Ferry Farthingale they should be interesting.

Also tomorrow: C++ revision lecture and group project 'presentation'. Should be equally interesting!

Got a bit of a shock in the evening when I realised I'd be 30 in four years' time. Bloody hell. I'd better sort myself out sharpish.