Day 1543

Amazing what a difference going to bed 55 minutes earlier has made. I woke up at nine feeling ready for action.

Made some more project notes. Progress a bit slow, but I've allowed another 3 weeks for note-taking. Hopefully my supervior can give me some pointers in the coming week.

Have tentatively planned to make Tuesday and Thursday my Effolk days during the project era.

Day 1542

Made functional language notes, updated my CV to reflect the fact that I am now qualified at postgraduate diploma level. Explored the saucier parts of the net but in the end had to resolve not to do so again. One can build up an unhealthy interest in such things.

Experimented with JavaScript - many possibilities, especially now I've got a decent local connection to CServe, even if it is at 9600 baud instead of 28,800.

Decided to give M&E some rest from me this week. They did turn out on Tuesday, after all. (What a night that was!) Was surprised at my own display of selflessness.

Day 1541

Made notes on the functional languages book. Worked on an XView file system navigator, a bit like the prog I've just done in Windows. Xview has no file or directory list boxes, so I had to write my own routine for filling a list box with a directory listing. Got it working perfectly, but it wasn't easy.

Went round to Mum's, talked to C. He intends to move out on Tuesday - said I'd give him a hand.
Installed Page Plus on Mum's laptop. Taped Is It Legal? Watched the last Blackadder 4 which was on because of the 80th anniversary of the Somme.

Day 1540

Felt rotten in the morning again - it didn't wear off till about 4pm. I should seriously reconsider daytime celebratory drinking.

Got some programming done, surfed the web at the new cheap local rate.

Drew up a plan for the project. I've given myself 3 weeks for the basics, 1 week for design and intensive XView study and 7 weeks for implementation and dissertation-writing.

in the evening watched Men Behaving Badly. Interesting ideas but rather poorly executed.

The exam results have done wonders for the old self-esteem. They've put an end to two years of fearing further failure. The Win has been achieved.

Day 1539

Put £13 in loose change into the bank, got to campus at 2.30. Then waited about 3 hours for the results to be posted, occupying the time with some XView, net-surfing and renewing library books.

Walking through the corridors, caught myself feeling nostalgic for winter lunchtimes.

As my adviser had warned me, the results were not very exciting; just an alphabetical list of the people who'd be allowed to do dissertations.

The union bar had been accidentally burnt down (!) so went in the other one for a quick couple of pints. Watched France v. Czechoslovakia, spoke to P who was watching it too.

Got the 1830 bus. It was a hot, still, grey evening. There were heavy drops of rain on the way but it came to nothing.

Home by eight. England lost in the semi-final to Germany on penalties, again.

It's been a rather anticlimactic day. Suppose I'd better start thinking about the project now (only 2 months 24 days to go).

Also, waiting at the bus stop in the evening I could not put myself back into the anxious mindset however hard I tried. Like the Collector's, my collapsed will has once again been shored up with the strongest timbers.

Day 1538

'I came top out of us'. Yes! Logged on to CompuServe at 10.30 to find a message from my adviser. It said, basically, not to tell anyone but I'd come top of MSc. Computer Science. So, to labour the point, I did better than anyone, even the ex-telecom engineers and dedicated Chinese lads. Gosh cor wow. I don't think I've been first in anything since I won the U6th Geography prize at school. My adviser said it gave him a warm feeling to know he was supervising 'this year's top gun'. Blimey.

Well, naturally I was rather pleased, and strolled down to the Cricketers for a celebratory drink, all the better for appreciating my ability to have one and stop there.

Mum and dad were suitably pleased. C went so far as to buy a card and bottle of wine, which was nice. Then at 8pm M rang to say we should indeed bring forward tomorrow's outing and meet at the Crown. Hīr þū hast þat þīn is. Walked back in a 'mediterranean' summer evening.

It crosses my mind that there is a prize of £100 to the post-graduate with the best overall exam/project performance.

Better go up to Effolk tomorrow to see the results for real and perhaps have a drink or two. As I said this morning, thanks to all concerned. A leisurely 3pm departure for 5pm results posting should see me right.

Can we ever have had better proof of the maxim that has stood me in good stead for 10 years or more: A strong passion for any object will ensure success, for the desire of the end will point out the means.

Day 1537

MIDSUMMER DAY. Went to the library in the morning, renewed all those computing career-type books I got out 3 weeks ago. (It's an act of faith).

Tidied up the hard disc on the 486.

They're putting the Files on twice a week, once at 11 pm on Saturday for flip's sake. That'll have to be videoed.

2 days to the results (34¼ hours). I hope they come out early on the day. Realised that the commiseration/ celebration session clashes with the England v Germany semi-final. Will have to sort things out with M.

Way over-the-top tabloid coverage of the match today btw. Anyone would think the war had still been going on these last 51 years.

Day 1536

Made some more modifications to C's web page. Leafed through the shareware catalogue and saw that 123 clone, AsEasyAs; went onto CompuServe and found it with the File Finder, downloaded it in 2½ mins (7p). Installed it on my computer. For shareware CompuServe is excellent - and the WINSOCK logon now takes only 30 seconds, same as the old CIS-only only one, thanks to the new WinCIM 2.0.1 that came with the TSB package.

3 days till the results. Just Monday and Tuesday still to wait. Nerve-racking.

Day 1535

A certain amount of computing updating C's web page and installing the new WinCIM and the TSB program - no PIN for the latter yet because of the postal strike.

It must be obvious I've mended this pen. The end of a cartridge had got stuck in it. Surprised I didn't think of that before. While solving that problem, was pleased to find that the screwdriver tips in my new socket set fit my ratchet screwdriver - making it useful for extra Phillips sizes plus star screws and Allen keys.

M rang up in the afternoon to say come round and watch Spain v England. I was also invited for the evening, but she rang at 7.10 to say E had decided to go out for a meal instead. Well, I was worried about taking up too much of their time together, and it'll stand me in good stead the next time we meet.

Finished What Katy Did (Quod Fecit Caterinilla) which is more sophisticated than I remembered.

Whatever happens on Wednesday with the results, I'll need a clear head to face it. It's a New Age for sure if it turns out right, and if it doesn't, well, I haven't bet more than I could afford to lose, and, as today's bad bits have shown, If it wasn't for disappointment, I wouldn't have any appointment. And I have walked the length of Southend Pier and back.

Day 1534

Five years since the finals results - two years since I got sacked from ABC. Perhaps I can forget about it now.

Went to Southend with C, walked to the end of the pier. Had a half there. Walked all the way back (about 1½ miles each way, I reckon). I've always wanted to do that. Got C to take a picture of me pretending to be Arthur Daley in the new Minder creds.

C being off has been fun and has taken my mind off the 5-day wait for the results.

Day 1533

Into town in the morning to get Mum's present. Stopped for a look at this flat C's thinking of renting.

Day 1532

I did dream I found it (under a newspaper in my room) but when I woke up there was no paper to look under. C suggested we go to Raindon; walked along the river, looked at the salt-marshes. Made a nice change.

I spent most of the day thinking about the apparently immovable wait for the results. (7 days to go). Still, it's better than the apparently open-ended waiting of my last period of unemployment.

Read The Phoenix and the Carpet. It's actually rather clever and has references that can be seen in computer science terms - recursion etc. I think a really good children's book is one you still want to read when you've grown up.

Last episode of ST: TNG today. Nice sarcastic reference by Q to 'your trek through the stars'. They're putting Voyager on in the autumn. I'd like to have proper Star Trek back.

Day 1531

Rearranged my room, getting rid of the stereo cupboard - the stereo is now on the computer trolley. At last there's room to sit down in front of the computer.

Sat down to watch England v. Holland but then remembered I'd misplaced the wedding invitation. Spent the whole match looking for it, unsuccessfully. Result 4-1, to England amazingly.

Read The Second Stain to see if it could inspire me to find the invitation.

Day 1530

Removed unread books to the loft at my parents' to make room on my shelves here.

Watched ST:TNG (penultimate ep) and Fire - triffic X-File. I liked Scully's behaviour when confronted with Mulder's old flame.

Started The Prisoners of September again.

Day 1529

Woke up at 10.50 to another beautiful day. Walked T to the station, came back via Sainsbury's for vegetable curry and indigestion tablets.

Had a pleasant drowsy sunny afternoon designing a new FSA lexical analyser.

In the evening watched the repeat of Friday Night Armistice. I like the gags but the bits where they faux-naively confront people are just embarrassing.

Read Coming Up For Air.

Today was 16.6.96; 16x6=96. How often does that happen?

Day 1528

Wrote out French pronunciations for M's mum, walked round and delivered them. Came back via the Co-op for fizzy water. Watched England v. Scotland - first half very boring, second half much more exciting with goals by Shearer and Gazza.

Met T at the station at 7.15, and we joined M and E at the Cricketers. We managed to stay till 11.38 without even getting hassled - a record. The other bar was full of 16-year-olds; strange, because 10 years ago the Cricketers had the reputation of being very difficult for under-age drinking.

Came back here with T, ate Stilton and posh crisps, drank tea and watched The X-Files and Quantum Leap (What Price Gloria?) till 5.10 am. It started getting light at 3.30 and the Sun was just coming over the houses when we each went to bed.

Day 1527

Went into town with C in the morning, got two Postscript books from the library. Saw him off to his Euro '96 match at Elland Road tomorrow.

Used the Postscript books to good effect; created a .ps file which Ghostscript could read, and found that anything in brackets is a string literal. With that I was able to extract the text from the Xview manual pages. Also worked on my own computer on a LISP parser.

Went round to M's mum's house for the barbeque at six. We actually got some food cooked! It was great fun. Agreed to write out some French pronunciations for a play M's mum's auditioning for. Left about 8.50, and went on to M and E's. M extended a provisional invitation to watch England v Scotland there tomorrow afternoon.

Back here by 11.30, saw Deneb, Vega and Altair, and Capella low in the North. Still light in the sky there ½ hour before midnight.

Day 1526

Borrowed mum's car, drove to Dulchester; luckily found all the XView Answerbook files. Zipped them up and copied them. T e-mailed me to say she'd be slightly late on Saturday owing to England v Scotland but should be here by 6.30.

Came back, spent a long time trying to view the files which were all in Postscript format. Then spent a long time trying to extract the text. Maybe some knowledge of the Postscript language would help - I'll look in the library tomorrow.

M came round with a wedding invitation. And she and E are having a barbecue at her mum's tomorrow evening, she invited me to drop by.

13 days till the results come out. 'It's the waiting I can't stand, Carruthers.'

Day 1525

Worked very hard on the prototype for my project. Got it working rather well. The project might be quite good fun - of course Visual Basic is much easier to use than XView.

Went to Sainsburys by bike in the morning for tea ingredients. Was bothered by the comparison between the ABC period two years ago and this period of waiting for the exam results. It would be a bit of a downer to do all this project work and then fail, though I don't think I will. Results in two weeks. Think I'll pop up to campus tomorrow and copy the Xview demo programs.

Day 1524

Worked rather hard on a Visual Basic prototype for the project, with good success. I even implemented a drag-and-drop routine which looks very professsional.

Went out for a walk round the old 1991 route in the morning - past M's old house and thought about the first era of good times (Jan 1992-Sep 1993). I say 'first' because at the time I was thinking of them as good times that had finished. It took me a moment to realise that the good times returned in May 1995, and not a moment too soon either.

End-of-diary-volume pontification: here I am a long way from November's worries about assignments - the wait for the exam results is the only thing preventing me from contemplating a hard-working but interesting future. It's all very like the end of Keep The Aspidistra Flying, and if my prospects aren't quite so assured then at least I haven't suffered so much as Gordon Comstock.

Day 1523

Successfully turned my XView template into a module, an idea I had last night. So I can alter my main program without having to recompile all the X stuff every time. Wrote a good calculator program on the back of it.

Lovejoy was on in the afternoon so I watched it, after an exercise-based bike ride. More Xview in the afternoon, got 282,000 on Battlezone, my all-time record.

In the evening watched The X-Files. Have decided to give up smoking again, starting on July 16th. I've got to do it before I'm 30 so I might as well start. Those nicotine patches might be helpful.

Day 1522

17 days till the results. Did plenty of work on an Xview calculator; with medium success. Played the Euro '96 game. Watched bits of the 3 real Euro '96 matches

Worked out I can have 54 minutes' download time to Effolk for the price of driving up there for one hour. Will bear that in mind in this pre-results period.

Day 1521

Impressive classic cold-front passage last night, with gusts, rain, thunder and lightning and the temperature dropping 3°F in 10 minutes.

Rather grey and rainy today. Borrowed mum's car and drove to PC World, bought the Euro 96 game as a post-exam reward.

Got it working in the afternoon. It was suffering from the Diamond video card power saver TSR; set up a multiple config.sys to remedy the problem.

Phoned M but got that BT (Bastard Tories) woman who says 'Please hold the line.' Can't complain really, we've been out every Saturday night for weeks. It'll make a change to stay in.

Read through my project progress report - only 18 days till the results so I ought to get some project preparation in.

Day 1520

Bashed my recursive directory lister into shape, went into town again, got a pair of thin trousers which'll be more comfortable than jeans if if we have more of this weather.

Rest of the day hot and peaceful. I think I'll start making notes from the functional languages book for my project on Monday. I need something to do and it seems silly not to think about about my project just in case I fail the exams.

Carried on with Keep The Aspidistra Flying.

Day 1519

Got up early and went to campus to bring back the stuff about my project that my supervisor put on my disc. Got the functional languages book out of the library there, located the results noticeboard - 20 days to go. Conceded to the hot weather so far as to wear shorts.

Came back and worked hard at trying to get my Unix recursive directory lister to work. For some reason it wrongly identifies files in deeper directories as directories and tries to open them: 'segmentation fault'.

In the afternoon rode to Sainsburys and got salad for tea. Made a big green salad, a bowl of celery to dip in mayonnaise and cheese to go with the spring onions, plus pasties and cold potatoes. Ideal for this very hot weather.

It's two years since I started that job at ABC. They say you can stop grieving for anything after two years. They may well be right. Certainly I've felt better and very positive these past two or three days. It's probably the absolute and unguilty post-exam leisure, not like being unemployed at all. Of course I can't be sure of the results but the positive feeling is the important thing, and I can't change the results now.

Read The Road to Wigan Pier. Might read Aspidistra next, as I am having experiences very similar to Gordon Comstock's at the moment.

Day 1518

Experimented with various computing things, copied down the 1-2-3 macros.

Went into town to the library, still could not find anything in the shops for a post-exam reward.

Email from my adviser, he said the exam results would be out on the 26th. So I've got three weeks' leisure.

Cooked Spanish fish casserole with white wine for tea. Ideal for the hot weather.

Day 1517

Went into town by bike, strolled around, got a new diary book. Came back, experimented with Xview and LISP. It reminded me a lot of being unemployed, but not too badly.

Day 1516

'I've finished my last exam and the summer term is over'.

Up about 9.30, got two sessions done, 209 altogether or 104½ hours' work. Drove to Dulchester, had a great run through sunny countryside.

Got there about one, did the exam. The exams have got progressively easier, except this one.

Home at 6.15. Put all my notes in the defunct box. No more ADTs, environment-store mapping etc. Better not drift though - we've got projects to do.

Watched The X-Files.

Day 1515

One year since I bought ANSI C. Revised hard, doing 2 extra sessions. 207 sessions done altogether. C came round, he said his friends appreciated my Effolk web page and its Dr Who content.

Science exam tomorrow at 2pm. All over in 18 hours.

Day 1514

Got 5 sessions done; rang M in the afternoon and went round by bike to drink tea and give her Prospects Today, which was well received.

To the Crown in the evening with M and E; S turned up late with her boyfriend, and unfortunately they brought Barber and Fanta with them. M wasn't best pleased. For a while, as we had a few more drinks, things eased up, Fanta was quite witty. I contributed my knowledge of the alt.sex.fetish newsgroups to the conversation. Someone had to.

Walked home on my own, as M was still annoyed and S etc had vanished.

6 sessions planned for tomorrow. 199 done so far, 99½ hours altogether.