Day 265

These are empty days, between the two great festivals. In the afternoon programming.

Day 264

Did a bit of programming in the afternoon. Wonder how New Year's Eve will work out? Last year wasn't up to much.

Day 263

Woken up at 10.45 by M coming round: greeted her in my dressing-gown. Agreed to go to Lakeside with her. Got stuck in traffic on the M25 - just heard on the news that the queue was eventually 6 miles long! - so only had time for a quick look round. On the way back got stuck in even worse traffic. Still, we had a good conversation: she revealed the names of the boys who kissed me on Christmas Eve. The square-faced one who looked like Roger Irrelevant was Terry.

In the afternoon Carl came round and we went down town: got the latest Psychedelic Furs album World Outside with my Christmas record token.

Day 262

Went for a walk after dinner: the sun had come out at last and it was cold but pleasant. Listened to Brave New World on R4, did a bit of programming. Not such a bad day for a Sunday.

Day 261

Afternoon rather slow. At 8.15 to the Green Man with M and S. Found the evening rather a trial really. Now I'm going to do some reading and 'forget this filthy century'.

Day 260

Round to parents': they gave me a book about Weffolk weather. Apparently the county is notable for thunderstorms.

To M's after the Queen's speech. She didn't even notice last night that the police had been there.

Quite a good Christmas.

Day 259

Fully appreciated Christmas Eve afternoon. Listened to the R4 play. Yet another temporal paradox saving-your-ancestors type of thing.

At 8.30 to the Green Man with M and her brother. General festivity. At the end M spent 1/4 hour leaning illy against the front of the pub - the police came past but appeared to trust my assertion that I would take care of her.

Back by 1.20am. Was so self-controlled as to have a cuppa when I got back rather than a can. Just as good a Christmas Eve as all the others, if not better. Goodnight! 1.44 am.

Day 258

Christmas Eve Eve. Put up decorations. At 2.20 walked to the tech through fog and great cold. Whiled away the time with Latin, Patience and reading the library books I got during my break at 5 pm. Noticed a couple of envelopes addressed to me - one demanding my NI number, another with a cheque for £4.19 in it. Not much use to me at the moment. Still, no poxy placement now till Mon. Jan. 11th.

Left at 7.56, Carl gave me a lift from the station straight to Sainsbury's, which was quite quiet. It was even colder and foggier by then.

Day 257

This was also a milestone, tomorrow being Christmas Eve Eve. Funny how the milestones stick when the significance of Christmas has declined. Walked through lucid frosty pre-dawn morning air to the tech. The time went very slowly till I slipped off at 10.50 to the county library for twenty minutes. Then played Windows Solitaire, watched satellite telly - Neighbours in German ('Des, Daf is todt' / 'Eileen ist in zehr guten Hande'). Also more Latin - this placement has improved my Latin no end.

At 3.10 Sasha hadn't arrived so I locked everything up and left. At 3.30, when I'd got home, the green suit bloke rang up wanting to know how they could get in: I told them to go to the Estates Office (which is what evil Ailsa told me), and as they didn't ring up again I presumed everything was OK.

Only one more shift to do, tomorrow: and it's only till 8pm not nine, which is a great improvement. Wonder if it's worth going to the Workshop tomorrow, if I left at 2.15 I could get there, fill in a timesheet and piss off again and still get to the tech by three.

M has to work till 9 pm tomorrow, which makes me feel better at least.

Day 256

The High Court ruled that the pit closures were illegal. Cashed my giro. Went into town. Picked up the placement keys from Sasha.

In the afternoon to my parents', decorated both Christmas trees with my brother. Letter from D this morning, wishing me a Merry Christmas and being pro-Serbian and really rather witty. Don't like the reports of systematic rape coming out of Yugoslavia. A pity that the Serbs, who were so hard done by in WW2 by the Nazi puppet Croatians, and so get my support, may have acted so wickedly. Wasn't all of them by any means of course

Only 2 placement shifts to go before Christmas.

Day 255

What'll next week bring us? Christmas of course. I just hope I don't build up Wednesday evening at the placement into a massive paranoia. Be of good courage. It is another patience-building experience.

Tory BR chairman attacks Tory privatisation.

Day 254

Did some programming.

Day 253

In the afternoon tidied up and vacuumed the room. In the evening to the Green Man with J. Back at 11.15, watched Madness videos. Don't tell me there's nothing coming...

Day 252

Went round to my parents' and got the Christmas tree out of the loft. Then into town to the placement: talked to Sasha again. Afterwards the time went quite quickly - beat Reversi by 30 after losing by 52. Read more Latin, listened to The Young Postmen. Got a bit nervous about 7.30 but told myself to be of good courage. It worked. Put some addresses onto index cards. Left at 9 pm

No evenings on the placement till next Wednesday (who the f's going to come in to use a language library on Dec. 23rd?) and then none till Jan. 11th - and that'll be a morning.

Unemployment topped 2.9 million today - highest since Apr. 1987. Don't tell me there's nothing coming...

Day 251

Today was always a Christmas landmark... But this week has been the slowest for months. To the tech in the afternoon. Left at 8.56 after a long afternoon of compiling lists, showing the French tutor how to work the video, working out mark averages, playing Windows Patience (won twice) and Reversi (won twice - once by 6 and once by 30). Tomorrow I'll take my personal stereo so I can listen to the radio. Carried on with the Latin course, so at least I'm learning something.

Last of this week's sessions tomorrow. Next week I'm doing Tuesday 8.30-3pm and Wednesday 3pm-9pm.

Day 250

After lunch walked to the tech, via the Workshop for a blank timesheet. Had a very tedious time waiting for 9 pm to come, beguiled the wait with Reversi and reading a Latin course. Dealt well with all the people (2) who came in. Finally nine o'clock came - thank god the clock there is four minutes fast. I locked up, left, and walked home.

Day 249

Walked to the tech, arrived at 9.05. The woman Ailsa Michaels was pleasant and unpleasant by turns - at one point she criticised, in rapid succession, my face, my hair and my coat. Her words offended me, and while she canted about roles, presentation etc I stared her right in the eye and considered whether or not to tell her that that was no way to treat a volunteer and that she could stuff her placement. However, as she continued to hold out the prospect of a job I decided not to say so. I can always tell her all that later.

Talked to another volunteer, half-Hungarian Sasha - he was very interesting and agreed with my opinions about Eastern Europe. He's been working in Hungary, the average weekly wage is £20 and fascism waits in the wings.

Otherwise the day was really boring, only 1 person arriving as I sat at the desk. With the help of a dictionary read a French magazine. The green suit bloke came in, talked to him for a bit. Left at 3pm, walked home.

Day 248

Went for a walk, read the paper, did a lot of typing for dad, who came to collect it in the evening and paid me £10.

Must be up at 8.15 for my new placement. I hope it goes well. Wonder if there's really any chance of a job out of it?

Day 247

Spent a pleasant morning programming. Waiting for Grandstand on BBC1 I watched the end of Bird's Eye View on BBC2 (the programme that had Gordon Jackson's Eastern Approach earlier) with Muckle Flugga lighthouse and Out Stack, the northernmost point of Britain.

Day 246

As the green suit bloke hadn't rung by 11.30 I went round to M's to see her new kit-built computer. Very impressive.

The GSB eventually rang up about 4.30 saying I should go to the placement at 9 am on Monday. No buses to catch this time! He also hinted there was a [small but] real chance of getting a job out of it, so it's certainly worth a try.

Day 245

The green suit bloke rang up to tell me about a placement at Mercia Polytechnic. I thought, oh no, how can I dress smartly if I ride my bike. Luckily, shortly afterwards M rang up saying she was going into town, and she gave me a lift to the Workshop. It was inconclusive but promising - I must go to M.P. tomorrow to see some woman about it.

Day 244

Prince Charles and Diana are to separate. So much for 'a fairy-tale story of love'. At least they won't have to argue about who gets the palace etc. 'Dukes and kings in fancy dress. Silly rigobands at a carnival'.

Was just setting out to collect my giro when my mother drove up behind me. She kindly gave me a lift to the post office. I gave her the the first of six instalments of £13.33 to repay the money they lent me to pay off my Access card. Then into town to get tickets from the Green Man.

News jammed solid with C&D. Sorted out why I couldn't assign one far pointer to another in C. Why? Well, char _far *p, *q makes p a far pointer - but q defaults to near. You have to put _far before each one, like you do with * in fact.

Bloody Workshop tomorrow - hope it isn't raining. A very bright Full Moon in a clear sky at 8 pm seemed to bode well for seeing the eclipse, but it completely clouded over by 10pm. Ah well.

Day 243

Defrosted the freezer, went to the library. Read a book which claims the EC is a Nazi remnant plot.

Day 242

Did a bit of programming. M rang up. Went round and discussed the near-impossibility of getting funding for that Dulchester master's degree course.

Saw my parents. I mentioned the extra money I'm getting from the Workshop, and they suggested that they lend me £80 to pay what's left of my Access credit card debt, and then I could pay them back at £13.33/fortnight for the next 6 Giros - till the Workshop finishes. It seems they're impressed with the diligence with which I've been paying off the money they lent me for the hard disc (£5/fortnight).

Day 241

17 months on the dole. Read the paper, went for a walk, programmed - did the skeleton of my night-out-in-Mugsborough adventure, an idea I've had for some time.

Day 240

Got good book from library about a former right-wing fanatic who changed his mind and became an infiltrator in the NF.

Day 239

Phoned the bloke at Weffolk university who Dad said he knew. He had no idea who I was and even when he did cotton on I had to improvise and ask for a Cognitive Science course description for 1993-94.

Carl rang up at 6pm asking me to print his CV if he sends it - agreed. Then J rang and we went to the Green Man. I quizzed the landlord about these Christmas Eve/New Year tickets. Will go down there Wednesday and get them. All this planning really does erode the fun of the CE/NY thing.

In the 1940s the Croats torture and kill half a million Serbs in Hitler's concentration camps - in the 1990s the Serbs take revenge. Only the latter attracts censure...

Day 238

It was raining pretty determinedly so I stayed in and programmed and did various tidying. It stopped about noon - in the afternoon went to the Workshop, gave the green suit bloke my CV, put in my time sheet.

Day 237

Very windy all day. Floods round the country. Tidied up my scrap paper drawer.

Day 236

Market research woman came round and interviewed me for an hour. Vented my spleen on various issues - it's not often people come knocking at the door asking to hear my views!

Went into town to Boots for washing-up liquid. In the afternoon rang the Workshop to check on progress, they rang me about an hour later to ask for a CV, I said I'd bring one on Thursday.

Christmas trailers already on telly.

Day 235

Walked into town for Christmas shopping. Mum - bath stuff, £2.47; Dad - scribbling diary, £2.99; Carl - book token, £5.20. This year's budget of £11 is 10% up on last year.

Day 234

Have just realised that this book has 192 leaves, not 192 pages - suddenly noticed there's more than half the book to go when I expected to have only 20 pp left. No wonder it was so expensive!

M's new insufferable smugness even harder to put up with - here I am unemployed for 16½ months and she walks straight into a job which her mum got her after six weeks.

Advent Sunday today, apparently - only 26 days to Christmas.

Day 233

Intended to do some Christmas shopping, reversed my decision as everywhere was so crowded. I have allocated funds at £5 for my brother (book token), and £3 each for my parents (bath stuff/diary). At the moment that leaves £13 for celebrations, I should have made that up to £20 by the time Christmas comes.

After tea rang M who as well as again declining to come out, again was offensive on the jobs front. After this, decided not to ring J, went to Sainsbury's for lager.

Day 232

Worked on QBasic in the afternoon. Went out with J 8.30-11.30, had a barely satisfactory evening till the journey home, when we interestingly discussed my deficiencies.

Listening to Bob again this evening makes me wonder what's going on me-wise. Disillusioned, disenchanted, dissipated; and with very little left except for bitter resentment. Still, bitter resentment beats apathy, I suppose.

Why should we let loads of refugees into this country? If they want to fight wars why should we pick up the pieces with 2.8 million unemployed? Bloody Germans. Mind you, it's coming back to them, viz. recent neo-Nazi violence there. Must get the flags taken off my coat.

Female barristers claiming discrimination. All barristers should try life on £43 pw before they start complaining.

Day 231

To the Workshop. Nothing.

In the afternoon experimented with music in QBasic - learnt a lot about the language in the process. It's essentially interpreted Pascal without fussiness over data types.

Day 230

M brought round DOS 5 and also Windows 3.0, which she insisted on trying to install. Much to my surprise it worked! QBasic lived up to expectations - supports EGA Mono too.

Only a month to Christmas.

Day 229

Did a spot of programming before going into town for 3½" discs. Formatted them in the afternoon.

After tea got very depressed about lack of Christmas money, but recovered after the fortunate discovery that Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve are both Thursdays - hence they both come before Fridays (Dec. 25th, Jan. 1st) on which one doesn't go out, so the cash can be brought forward.

Tories turning the Torycaust onto the BBC now. They 'want a public debate' - but not about theft of public utilities, 2.8 million on the dole, doubling the number in poverty and crime going up 15% a year. Still, the BBC's Charter doesn't run out till 1996 - hopefully by then the Tories will be nothing more than an evil memory.

Certainly lost all respect for the Government (concept and real) over the last 13 years of Tory misrule. And 1100 more jobs go today...

Day 228

Successfully investigated C time functions. Disc drive arrived. Spent 3 hours fitting it, finally got everything working.

Day 227

In the afternoon did a spot of C, went for a walk at 4 pm. Wonder if the Workshop'll've found anything for me tomorrow?

Day 226

Gloomy rainy morning. Didn't wake up till 10.45. In the afternoon went to town and Sainsbury's in the drizzle, got a MS-DOS book from the library.

Day 225

To the Weffolk University union bar, with M and J. Ended up at 3am having tea and toast at M's brother's friend's house. By a hair's breadth J was persuaded to take me back to Mugsborough, got back at 3.45. Said I was sorry about the misunderstanding. It wasn't my fault though, by any stretch of the imagination.

Day 224

After breakfast and a fag cycled to the Workshop to give in my timesheet. Argued on the steps with the You Ought To Be Shot Woman: eventually she apologised, but not before the following exchange:
YOTBSW: I don't like your attitude.
Me: I don't like yours, come to that.

If they pay £2 a day, they only get £2 worth of respect. After that was interviewed by the green suit bloke. This was much more civilised. Eventually got away and went to Sainsbury's. Then round to M's for an hour, she regaled me with a long story about changing her Fiesta's oil filter.

Day 223

To Dulchester with M. Went to the Jobcentre there and scanned Weffolk University's post-graduate booklet.

Government attacked from all sides on school 'league tables'. Good. Arms to Iraq thing still rumbling on too.

Expect this diary volume to last me till Dec. 17th. Will have to allow £5 or £6 out of the Christmas & General Fund (currently £35) for a new one.

Day 222

Went to the recycling place: got £2.40 for 6 kgs of aluminium cans. Went into town with M in the afternoon - she enthused over this digital camera she spotted.

Day 221

After dinner spent a tedious half-hour sorting out steel and aluminium cans.

Don't think much of the new Ceefax - too complex and sorts through all the pages rather than just the current hundred. Too slow.

The IRA tried to blow up Canary Wharf last night - I sort of wish they'd succeeded...

Day 220

Absolutely miserable grey, cold, damp weather. Up at 9.30, went for the paper, read it after chips and tea for breakfast.

I see certain Muslims sent messages of support to anti-women-priests priests. Goddess preserve us from religious fanatics. Also right-wing fanatics, left-wing fanatics, capitalist fanatics, racist fanatics and fanatics generally. (Not forgetting reactionary fanatics).

Day 219

Transferred all my empty cans to bin bags. With a view to selling them to that recycling company, weighed them - about 8-10 kg.

Went into town early about 1.30. Nothing I wanted to borrow at the library, came back via Sainsbury's. Quiet Saturday.

Day 218

Off to Haysend on a cold clear blue-skied day. Left at noon after sorting out references etc. Back just before 1pm: watched the news, went round to M's. She carried on hassling me about jobs - we went to Sainsbury's, came back and carried on talking.

Feel I should take the German flags off my jacket, which I've been intending to do ever since the Great Yugoslavian Nazi Support Operation began last year.

Day 217

Did a morning's dBase at Haysend, back by 2.30. M rang up after tea to say she'd got a Christmas job at Debenhams. I went round, but the evening was rather depressing.

Day 216

It was raining and windy in the morning; mum phoned to say I could borrow her car to go to Haysend if I drove her to work first. Got there, typed out a dBase III command summary for them. Ate (packed) lunch in the car.

Today the C. of E. General Synod voted to have women priests, or priestesses, one might say. Is this an encouraging trend, or are the antics of Middle Eastern cult followers still irrelevant to us pagans? Probably both. Biggest thing in Christianity since Henry VIII.

Day 215

To Haysend, tutored them on dBase III again. Hung about for a bit waiting for some people from the Workshop to turn up: eventually John the social worker rang them, but they were disorganised and said they'd ring back tomorrow. He told me afterwards that if they couldn't arrange things properly he felt he shouldn't help them. I told him about the 9-week delay in finding me a placement.

Day 214

Got the 9.20 bus to Haysend, absolutely packed with old people - later found out they travelled free today. Had to stand all the way. Got there about ten, reconfigured the database. Had a lot of trouble getting off the premises as I had to lock the office door, everyone being at a meeting.

At least managed to sit down on the way back.

Day 213

Listened to The Duchess of Malfi on Radio 3. Am I Bosola-like or what?

Day 212

Got the Byte Book of Pascal from the library. Also discovered that 3½" floppy controllers are available on a card. Found an XT one for £35.

Day 211

Caught the 9.20 bus at the cathedral. At Haysend set up an example database for their library requirements. Casually mentioning backups found they didn't know what I meant. That could cause problems in future, eh?

Day 210

Mum kindly came round and gave me a lift to the Workshop for a blank timesheet. Then I remembered I'd taken a spare one last week. Caught the 9.20 bus, got to Haysend by ten: had the office to myself till 12.30. Got a good grounding in dBase III. Left at 1.15, home via the Workshop again at 2.15. More dBase III in the afternoon.

In the evening Dad phoned and kindly offered to buy a 3½" drive for my PC.

Day 209

Clinton won.

Borrowed mum's car to go to Haysend again. Copied relevant the QBASIC files for myself, transferred the ticket program and DBase III to the 386 for them. Left at 1.30.

Back to the bloody buses tomorrow, too. And I thought this placement would solve everything. Still, look on the bright side - it's been a change of scene I suppose.

Day 208

To Haysend: finished the tickets, and got the 386 to recognise the 5¼" drive by getting into the CMOS (NVR) set-up. Also taught them to use Windows Paintbrush.

To M's in the evening. Back at 10 pm: early encouragement US-election-wise with a big turn-out. Before Pris Bill Clinton looked ahead, now - 1.02 am - he's gained a load of states and it looks like he is next American President. Comparisons to Kennedy and all.

You may wonder at this excessive interest in America, add to my comments yesterday the fact that Bush represented Thatcherism/Reaganomics - now both stamped DISCREDITED. Any port in a storm, Heath over Th**r any day.

Day 207

Walked to the bus station in wind and rain, got soaked, arrived to see the bus leaving 10 minutes early (again). Waited half an hour for the next. At Haysend typed in some photocopied sheets of raffle tickets.

In a lull in the rain walked into Haysend for lunch: dropped 20p and was rather worried, until a kind woman who'd found it returned it to me. Odd buying food in the Co-op again, takes me back to the third year.

Did 100 buyers and caught the bus back to Mugsborough.

Bill Clinton looks like winning in America tomorrow. I hope he does. Mind you, American elections at the moment are really a choice between Ted Heath and Norman Tebbit. Unusual interest in the transatlantic threat, you might think - still, I reckon the best way to stave off American cultural imperialism is to know as much about them as possible.

Day 206

Had considerable success with a P-code tokeniser and interpreter. Read the paper, screwed the top onto the stool I built in CDT in the second year and now use as a bedside table. That means it's taken me something over 9 years to complete the job.

Day 205

Clear and cold and calm. Up about 10.30, nice to have a lie-in. Glorious mellow sunlight and golden and red leaves in the afternoon. Wrote a successful interrupt handler.

Day 204

Worked desultorily on the last of the tickets till about mid-day: with nothing else for me to do, I went. Enjoyed my new-found afternoon freedom.

Out with M and J in the evening. Walked back in a cold and frosty night.

Day 203

In Haysend by ten. Typed till one: nearly done.

Back by 1.25. After dinner went into town to leave a timesheet at the Workshop.

My brother rang: he was pleased to see TOP SCHOOL IN DRUGS SCANDAL on the front of the local paper - one in the eye for our old headmaster.

Day 202

Did nine till three on the raffle tickets. That bloke from the Workshop rang up; spoke to him and assured him everything was going well and I'd be pleased to stay on at the charity.

Back about 3.30, post office was closed, had to borrow £5 from my Christmas fund. Can pay it back when I cash the Giro tomorrow.

Day 201

Mum lent me her car again so I was able to drive to Haysend, listen to the radio and smoke.

At Haysend the chief beardy bloke asked if I'd care to do another week or two after Friday (when the lottery finishes). I immediately agreed - should keep the Workshop happy at least. Me too actually, it's not so bad except for back-ache and having to catch the bus.

Went into the town for dinner, rolls and cheese triangles this time. Ate in the car in the charity's car park while reading the Independent and listening to The World At One.

Day 200

Beautiful golden morning recalling past idylls. Got to Haysend about 9.55. Did over 400 addresses by 4 pm. Went into Haysend for dinner: much nicer than a week ago, thanks to the weather. Co-op cheese and onion rolls now 'suitable for vegetarians'.

Day 199

Over 150,000 people were marching in London today against pit closures/unemployment. Very stirring. They sang Jerusalem at the end too. Arthur Scargill's really been rehabilitated, he could almost be a national hero.

Major's no Rommel, but could this be our El Alamein? Roll on Stalingrad, Sicily, D-Day etc.

Day 198

Saw on Ceefax that J. Major and his 'sources' are trying to scare off Tory rebels with ideas of a general election and Labour victory.

Day 197

Round to mum's early as she'd said I could borrow her car: got to Haysend at 8.55, so looking pretty keen. Did 166 names and addresses before leaving at 11.30.

Day 196

At Haysend I spent 1½ hours typing in 100 buyer details, then came home with very bad asthma and chest pains. Walked as far as the railway bridge, then by a massive stroke of luck M drove past and gave me a lift to the doctor's. When I came back I was feeling very chilled and took to my bed fully clothed with a hot-water bottle.

Day 195

To the doctor's - chest infection as usual - then to the Workshop for a blank time sheet. Was off-hand (deservedly) to the you-should-be-shot woman.

Then on to Haysend in the afternoon. Spent 3 hours correcting the omissions I made on Monday.

Day 194

Raining very heavily and thundering in the morning. Went to Haysend and did about 20 tickets, then they said I looked so ill (from the cold I've got) that they said I could go at 11.30. Got a bus back to Mugsborough. Still pissing down with rain, walked back getting wet.

Day 193

Up rather illy at 6.50 am for placement. I had to enter details of raffle ticket purchasers on a portable computer. Being used to tedious input sessions I set to work with a will. At dinnertime wandered round Haysend looking for something to eat. Miserable weather, grey, rainy and cold. Left about 3.40, having done over 200 addresses; arranged to come in 10am-4pm and have Thurs. am and Fri. pm off.

Back in Mugsborough about 4.15. Met M outside the DHSS just getting into her car. She remarked how smart I looked and gave me a lift back. Realised I had a rather nasty cold coming on.

Tories U-turned over the pits, a moratorium for 20-30 of them. Tory bastard press still against them, for a change.

Day 192

Wonder how the placement'll go - you never know, there might even be a job in it in the end.

Pit trouble continues - miners dumped 3 tons of coal on Heseltine's drive. Good for them I say. Serve the Tory bastards right.

Day 191

Anti-pit-closures campaign still gathering strength.

Day 190

Tories in more and more trouble: unemployment really seems to've overtaken them. Fear of tax has been eclipsed by fear of joblessness. Government looking crap. Will this be it?

Day 189

Phone call from that South African woman from the Workshop saying she'd found me a placement in Haysend. I asked What about the adult education, she said 'Don't tell me you didn't go'. 'Go to what?' It turned out I was supposed to go to some induction thing with them, ah well. She said I ought to be shot. I told her that if anyone ought to be shot it should be her.

Anyway, went to the Workshop in freezing cold N.W./W. winds, was 'interviewed' by a kindly bloke in green tie and jacket. I said yes, anything for a change.

Day 188

An excellent day, Government in disarray after opposition to their pit closures gathers momentum, Lamont and Major looking more like Laurel & Hardy than ever. After this, and Black Wednesday, what'll happen when they cut public spending? (Again)?

I was depressed politically after the election, today I recovered, kept whistling The Red Flag and the Marseillaise. In years to come, will this be a Big Historical Thing? I hope Peter Lilley has to eat his words in time.

50th anniversary of El Alamein - ~ turning point of the Second World War. Is it a symbol?

Day 187

Inspired by something M said, resolved to use the extra Workshop money to pay off my old credit card debt before the Workshop scheme ends.

Day 186

Norman Lamont (crap Chancellor) behaved like a nob on telly. Sending him to an island somewhere seems the kindest solution.

Day 185

Wonder what next week will bring me? Hopefully some sort of response from the adult education people. It's been long enough, after all.

Day 184

Watched Mexican film Homework. Surely with Mexico in the state it is they've got better things to do than teach film studies.

Day 183

I've been unemployed for 15 months now. Well, I never thought this would happen. Still: Never despair.

Day 182

Found a library book under my bed: took it back in the afternoon, cost me £1.44 in fines! Had to take it out of the Christmas/General Fund - leaves £10.56 . Went to the Workshop too, filled in a timesheet, came back.

Wrestled with immediate words in Forth - qualified success and seemingly inexplicable errors (story of any programmer's life).

Got depressed later what with the Tory bastards and everything, cheered up after listening to The Inexplicable World of Lionel Nimrod, chiefly notable for Tom Baker's introduction: 'we have nothing to fear except fear itself - and monsters, of course'.

Went for a walk - cold, cloudy, still. Watched Pris - concentration camp flashbacks with Joan as a Nazi. Rather tiring day.

Day 181

That wanker Peter Lilley (minister for social security) made the most evil speech I've heard in a long time at the Tory conference, aiming to blame the expense of benefit payments caused by Tory economic mismanagement on 'socialist scroungers'. What a bastard!

After hearing that on PM I was so angry I went out for a fast 25-minute walk. In the cold wind and under grey stratocumulus it was exhilarating and I felt quite relaxed when I got home, and had a good appetite for my tea. Perhaps I should have a 5.30 pm walk every day.

Day 180

It's a tough world when there are no moral absolutes.

Watched Pris, the sound went completely off-revs in the last 20 minutes.

Day 179

That plane crash accounted for ~ 250 deaths. It's the imperialism of air travel, so falsely glamourised: they take vast tracts of our native land, they jettison fuel onto people's gardens and finally crash onto their homes. Why couldn't it've crashed onto the Tory conference, that might've seemed like justice. Mind you, perhaps not all Tory bastards must die, if they ceased to be Tory bastards no action would be necessary.

Went for a walk in the evening. Cold and windy.

Day 178

They crashed a plane in Amsterdam, onto a block of flats. And a load of people got stabbed down the bus station last night, it made Ceefax and the Radio 4 news.

Day 177

Met Davina C in the library. Apparently she dropped out from Durham... All the trouble I had with her in those AO Maths lessons.

Watched a bit of The Living Daylights. Can't really see T. Dalton as Bond.

Day 176

Pound plunged again. Did Samuel Pepys really think, bloody Charles II, I'm sick of him, and that sodding fire of London, I'm tossed off with that Maastricht, Maastricht, it's not exactly rivetting.

Watched the end of the Labour Party Conference: Red Flag very stirring. They only sang the first two verses though.

Day 175

October already! M, now officially unemployed, invited me to come round and help fix her mum's shed roof. A police helicopter circled overhead, M claimed it was DHSS spies. Then into town for M to make a New Claim: I walked up to the Workshop and filled in a time-sheet.

Day 174

Worked on Forth - Only <BUILDS...DOES> to go really in command terms, apart from more 'defining Forth in terms of itself'. It really is an achievement for nine days' work. (not counting the effort that went into the versions which led to it).

Day 173

Cycled into town for a lampshade. Not such an interesting day today. Still, Giro tomorrow.

Day 172

M came round at 3pm and gave me a lift to hers. Varnished a doorstep and window-frame, sanded one window-sill and painted another. She was impressed with my painting technique. Talked about climbing, S and unemployment till 5.30. Borrowed enough for Rizlas and a can.

Day 171

Dad's friend Mr B rang up to say the adult education people had asked him for a reference for me and that he'd sent one. So things are beginning to move. About time too.

Went to Do It All and Sainsburys Homebase for a lampshade in the afternoon, no success. But quite a good day for a Sunday today - didn't even finish the paper.

Day 170

Government looking in nice disarray over Europe. Serve the wankers right.

Day 169

Heavy rain kept me in till about 2 pm, when I went down town on my bike to Sainsbury's and the library.

Day 168

Went to the Workshop: raining, and river very high, but on the way back the sun came out and cheered me up very much.

Day 167

Rain most of the day again, clearing towards the end of the afternoon. Made bread in the evening.

Day 166

I was tidying the room about 3 pm when M rang - we went to town to the library and to the DHSS as she wanted to try and make a benefit claim.

Day 165

M came round at 11.30 and we talked and drank tea. She's relieved at finishing her course but depressed at what seems inevitable failure.

Day 164

Wrote a letter to our old TEFL course tutor about a reference for the adult education thing for the Workshop.

Day 163

Stared into space for a bit after Week Ending, then wrote to D.

Day 162

Massive thunderstorm last night.

Day 161

M rang to complain that I'd put a joke citation into her dissertation, 'Boring 1975'. I had to show her that it was genuine!

Day 160

An exciting economic day: I got my Giro, and interest rates were up 2 points at noon to 12% and at 15% at 4pm: would you believe it? Then Lamont appeared in the evening to announce the pound'd been suspended in the ERM. It's supposed to be worth DM 2.77 and it went down to 2.69. Tories in disarray, Parliament recalled.

M happened to be round when the news came on at 4pm: 'The Bank of England has raised interest rates...' 'Oh, heard it' '..for the second time today...' 'What?' '..to 15%...' 'Fuck!'

Ha ha ha! Tory bastards.

Day 159

Typed up a load of references for M's dissertation, cycled round with them. She was very grateful.

Day 158

Saw Fritz Leiber's obituary in the paper.

Day 157

Got a new high score - over 21,600 - on Tetris while listening to the phone-in.

Day 156

M phoned and invited herself to town with me. She hassled me about a job opportunity at the library. They'd previously undertaken to 'keep me on file' so they were obviously lying.

That same checkout woman in Asda claimed I wasn't 18 again. I showed her my driving licence and the supervisor was called, and I got my way. I told them both I'd be going to Sainsbury's in future. Anyway, she gave me 8p too much change, so minor victory there.

Day 155

Carried on with Good Wives.

Day 154

Finished Little Women, started Good Wives. M rang up to ask bread-making advice.

Beautiful clear evening with a full Harvest Moon.

Day 153

Carried on with Little Women. Went out for the new walk again after The Archers.

Day 152

Discovered a different compiler option in QuickC which makes the .EXE file about half as long - wrote an interrupt vector lister in 6K, shorter even than a Pascal .COM file.
Started making bread in the morning, had a bit of trouble mixing the dough, but it came out all right.
Got bored and depressed later; a warning sign I think. 'Sometimes her boredom took her by the throat'. Let's hope the Workshop come up with a placement soon.
Started reading Little Women.

Day 151

Met M in town, said I was sorry for saying she didn't deserve a boyfriend on Friday night - she said she usually ignored what I said when I was pissed. I told her to carry on. Came back here for tea and computer talk.

The building has had an Anglia/BBC East aerial put up This means when Thames goes down the tubes at the end of the year I won't have to watch its Thatcherite replacement.

Day 150

A grey, damp, rainy day. Staved off boredom with the paper. About 4.20 had to go out for a walk: back at 5.05 when Sunday evening had replaced Sunday afternoon. Started Sons & Lovers. About 8 pm went for another walk.

Day 149

Still very cold. Read the paper and the Quick C book.

Day 148

Extremely cold day. Borrowed M's book on C.

In the evening to the Green Man with M. Julian thrillingly ran his hand down my back. Stupidly went on to the Hazy Bar, but Julian didn't come and I was completely bored. Back at 12.50.

Day 147

Went to the library and the Workshop. Got home to find the Ursula LeGuin book I'd got was actually a collection of women's SF (usually it's got black and white stripes down the side so you can avoid it). Be fair, I gave it a chance, but only Ursula's story/novel was up to scratch.

More C later.

Day 146

Cashed Giro. Thanks to the Workshop cash I had over £6 free after rent, hard disc repayment, miscellaneous debts, baccy and the Weekend Fund. And £2 for the Christmas Fund.

Bought a tin of veg. ravioli. C'd, read Rocannon's World.

Day 145

Did a bit of C then went into town to the library for C books, astrology and Planet of Exile. Meant to go to the Workshop, but didn't.

Day 144

Today being a Bank Holiday I perversely got up at 7.30 am to experiment with C. Made gradual progress throughout the day.

Day 143

Round to M's in the evening to watch The Naked Lunch. Came back and backed-up QuickC (11 discs!)

Day 142

Discovered that Quick C would probably work on my PC. M gave me a lift with it round to hers, and we transferred Quick C onto it via a serial cable. And it did work too.

Day 141

Round to my parents' in the evening, mowed the lawn for them.

Day 140

M rang to tell me about Alien 3 and to ask about that environmental health job. In the afternoon went to the Workshop to fill in a time sheet.

M came round about 4.30 to talk optimistically about that job.

Day 139

Investigated dBase files with the help of that DNews magazine I got free from the PCW Show about 8 years ago - funny how it should come in handy now.

Day 138

Worked out what the problem with my camera had been in Wales - end of the film!

Day 137

Went to the Workshop, stayed for about 10 minutes, just to show my face.

Round to M's in the evening. She went on about some 1.3" hard disc (20MB) that uses screws too small to be seen with the naked eye.

Day 136

Only 4 months to Christmas btw: if I save £5/ftnt I'll have £40 by then, and remember I did pretty well on £10 last year.

Day 135

Round to my parents' house for Dad's birthday.

In the evening out with M and J, met a real live 100% genuine Australian bloke.

Day 134

Went to the Workshop. Hung about for about 40 minutes talking to the people from Wednesday - as both computers were in use there wasn't much point staying, so I left.

Nevertheless all this Workshop stuff's been pretty encouraging. Nice to have something to do, somewhere to go for a change.

Day 133

In the afternoon made Access debt payment at the bank - 12 to go. Then to the Workshop - got a good grounding on SuperCalc, and soaked getting there. When I got back, wrote a 3D graph program for Basic (inspired by SuperCalc).

Have resolved to save £5/fortnight out of the extra money.

Day 132

Cashed my Giro, went to the Workshop. I was interviewed quickly by Denise the deputy manager. She reminded me of my first junior school teacher: she admired my qualifications and held out hopes of computer experience. She kept shaking all the time for some reason.

Got to go there again tomorrow, as I'm supposed to do 30½ hours/week, though Denise told me I could use my imagination filling in the time-sheet.

Remembered today that it's 4 years since I got my A-level results.

Day 131

Got to be up at 9 am tomorrow. Hope it goes OK and produces something.

Day 130

Into town to sign on, walked to the Employment Training place. Got to go back on Wednesday. Looks like I'll get paid the extra £10 pw as of now, which can't be bad. Might be a problem with lack of respect where I'm placed, still, it's self-respect that makes 60% of the running. ET lasts till February, so I might have a chance of finding a job by then.

Day 129

Had a good breakfast of boiled eggs which set me up for lots of cleaning and tidying up.

Day 128

Cycled into town with M. Then it transpired that she didn't have the key to one of the locks she'd put on our bikes, so I had to wait 1½ hours while she walked home, looked for the key, and cycled back on another bike. Whetted my appetite with peanuts.

Day 127

Rang somewhere M had mentioned called the Workshop, it's some scheme where they pay you £10+benefits. Agreed to go along next week and see what's what.

Day 126

It rained solidly today from noon to about 11 pm. Not very inspiring.

Day 125

Three months since I heard from anyone I was at uni with.

Day 124

S came round and had a go at me for not applying for that job Theresa McCarthy was going on about. I told her that when I'd phoned up about it, they said there was no job, and they didn't know who Theresa was either. Somehow to S though it was still my fault.

Day 123

M showed me a map of where we rescued those people yesterday. I climbed up 150-200ft on that scree! And I'd already walked to the summit that day. A fantastic confidence-builder.

Day 122

Climbed Snowdon today, on way down rescued a party of Scousers from a ridge. Home about 11.15pm.

Day 121

Went to Wales with M and S. Did some practice climbing and abseiling on this rock face called Little Tryfan. Bed in a tent at 11pm.

Day 120

The bastards are making Income Support even harder to claim! Who else would make such a fuss over £34 a week? Fucking Tory bastards, that's who.

Day 119

Watched Me, You & Him - improving. Shows promise.

Day 118

More tragic events in Yugoslavia. Bloody Germans. Thatcher reckons we should send arms to use against the Serbs - stupid cow. If you boiled her down you could produce the essence of pure evil (not sure why you'd want it though). I'll be glad when she's dead.

Day 117

C came round. We went into town to get our parents a silver wedding anniversary present (silver tray).

Day 116

S invited me to come to Dulchester. She wanted to have the suspension recharged on her car but it was too knackered.

Day 115

Watched TV Squash - utter crap, really just an anti-BBC vehicle.

Day 114

Got some cans. £1.30 still left out of the Weekend Fund afterwards. Where's July gone? Seemed to last about 10 days.

Day 113

Started The Lord of the Rings, again.

Day 112

Saw Madness on Top of the Pops doing My Girl on the 'Cairo West' set they had in the Ghost Train video.

Day 111

M came round. She reckons I should take a post-graduate diploma/conversion course in something. But what? Law? Computing?

Day 110

Went round to my parents' and cleared the shed out for them.

Day 109

Discovered that the disc with the copy of MOUSE.COM I took Felicity on Thursday had become infected with Jerusalem (7) virus. Ran VC on it and cleared it successfully.

Day 108

Watched the first Sunday race in Britain since 1780.

Day 107

S called round to ask if I wanted to come to London. I said no, and she drove off again.

Day 106

Went out for Rizlas.

Day 105

Went to round to see that friend of dad's, Felicity: spent nearly 4 hours mucking about with MOUSE.COM and the hard disc, eventually discovering a probable virus.

Day 104

Cashed my Giro. Carried on with The Forsyte Saga.

Day 103

Spent most of the day reading a book about the top Nazis at Nuremberg.

Day 102

Went to sign on: behind the desk was Chryssie Southgate from 6th form. Blast from the past or what? I told her the first year of unemployment is the worst.

Day 101

M came round and played the Snake game I'd written. Bike ride with her and S in the evening. Felt fit.

Day 100

Went to the library.

Day 99

Went round to mum's, discussed The Forsyte Saga with her.

Day 98

Read more of The Forsyte Saga.

Day 97

Made bread again.

Day 96

Round to M's in the evening. She and J lectured me about getting a job.

Day 95

Got LOGO working. Carried on with The Forsyte Saga.

Day 94

A good day for a Sunday. Got so absorbed in a Basic LOGO interpreter from a 1982 PCW that I smoked only 3 fags all afternoon.

Day 93

Utilised the new microwave throughout the day to make tea, defrost rolls and cook baked potatoes.

Day 92

Out with J in the evening. Ran into Rachel Facre, she is going to America for 2 months, thank god.

Day 91

To M's in the evening: she's made another reckless consumer purchase and bought an answering machine. Watched 999 and 01. (Numerical programmes only).

Day 90

Collected my Giro. S came round and drove us into town. She was in a good mood and we had quite a good conversation.

Day 89

Made bread again. To M's in the afternoon: I must be becoming a bit of a fixture round there.

Day 88

So I've been back a year, and today is the last day of a year of unemployment.

Was in town with M when her resolve crumbled and she insisted on going to Lakeside again. Had a really good conversation on the way. Home in time for tea.

Day 87

Was at M's in the afternoon when J came round and we went to the park and had ice-creams. Then she announced she was taking us, who she referred to as 'the gruesome threesome', for a drive. Back at 7pm.

Got to sign on tomorrow - it'll be a year since I came back from uni, and the end of a year of unemployment. Hopefully I'll never have to call it the first!

Day 86

M came round and admired the loaf of bread I'd just baked. She took me and J to Lakeside; J looked for shoes till we were all three fed up with it, then to Burger King and then out for drinks all evening. J got in a mood but we went round to M's for camomile tea, Magic Roundabout videos and general reconciliation, and she kindly gave me a lift home at midnight.

Day 85

Fine time at M's in the evening, didn't leave till 1.45am.

Day 84

Started reading The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists again.

Day 83

M asked me if I thought S would cause trouble next weekend, as she feared. I said I didn't think so, but then I didn't think M would get off with him either.

Day 82

Applied for two school computer technician jobs. M revealed that she did get off with S at Glastonbury.

Day 81

Went round to M's,she told me all about her weekend at Glastonbury, and what a pain S was.

Day 80

Went for a drink with Sally, met Theresa McCarthy again. She did get on that computing MSc, SERC funded too. Had some scandal about M and Steve. Who knows what'll've happened at Glastonbury, what with the weather so hot, and all?

Day 79

Forget the past, there's a present to be saved!

Day 78

Finished Tess of the D'Urbervilles.

Day 77

To Tesco with M for her Glastonbury supplies: on the way back I said the preparations were so interesting I wished I was going.

Day 76

Giro came. Cycled into town, had a look at the current Viz. It seems to've improved somewhat: a very funny strip 'Student Grant'.

Day 75

Round to parents' to give mum her present. She was quite taken with it. Dad generously gave me £4; it doesn't sound like much but I was able to get six cans to watch Pris with. Not bad for the last day of the fortnight.

Day 74

Had to queue for about 20 minutes to sign on.

Day 73

A year ago today I got the results of my finals. Lakeside with M again today, came back and talked to her brother again, and her mother as well this time.

Day 72

To Lakeside with M. Came back and talked to her and her brother till tea-time.

Day 71

A good day. The weather drifting up from the East got stormier and stormier.

Day 70

Into town with M to get a video to watch at J's. I wanted to get Switch but she insisted on Kindergarten Cop.

Day 69

Helped M install her new cordless phone.

Day 68

Read Jane Eyre.

Day 67

Bought mum an egg-timer sand-glass for her birthday, bottled out of going into a building society to open an account.

Day 66

Gave the Observer a cursory glance in the afternoon: how unlike a year ago when I wrung every ounce of interest from it. Several times in fact in those days I went up to the garage in the afternoon about 4pm for the Independent on Sunday, I was so bored.

Day 65

Mum came round, and Dad; they'd very kindly bought a new mattress for my bed.

Day 64

How empty the weekend seems now M's gone away.

Day 63

Went to Tescos for apples. Fine evening at the pub with M and J.

Day 62

Went to the library. M's in the evening.

Day 61

I may still be unemployed but I feel that I've been learning to make the most of it. I hope that in the future I can read this book and think 'Ah yes, those were the days of needless anxiety, before I found my direction in life.'

Day 60

Went and signed on. Then to M's. S rang up while I was there - wonder what's really going on between those two?

Came back, had dinner: pasta mixed with tinned macaroni cheese, a trick I learnt at uni: makes it go twice as far with very little loss of flavour or extra expense.

Day 59

Got very bored about 4pm and went for a walk around the old walking circuit. Back for a traditional Sunday tea with the (few) interesting bits of the Observer business section. Round to M's in the evening.

So: what has next week got in store for us? Got to sign on tomorrow; might get a reply to my Jobclub letter, for better or worse.

Day 58

The best I can say is at least things aren't as bad as they were back in the autumn - still, even that has a kind of retrospective glamour because I managed to survive it. October it really was, not the autumn; in September I had more cash and in November there were all those parties. So it wasn't so bad after all. (A moral there somewhere).

Day 57

S. rang, had a short talk. Dire tales of the squalid abode of two of our former acquaintances.

Day 56

Eleven months to the day and day of the week since graduation. 'Well, you wanted to know what would happen next' I thought as I walked to the paper shop in the rain.

Day 55

Nondescript day. Coming up for 11 months since the end of uni. Where do I go now? Logically to a job, but there aren't any. I can go on like this a while longer. Don't Panic! Perhaps my renewed assault on the Jobclub front will turn something up.

Day 54

Had a constructive day. Found £20 under my mattress, where I must've left it last Wednesday. On impulse bought a bag of brown bread flour and some yeast, made bread.

Day 53

Didn't get to sleep for hours, fought off unpleasant thoughts. Why do those things always get at me on Sunday nights?

Went through my job applications file, threw away reams of propaganda but kept every blank sheet for scrap paper. Actually opened the NRA and Weffolk County Council envelopes I was too depressed to open back in November - as I suspected, nothing important, except mention of a journal Opportunities about public sector vacancies. Was very put off by the aggression and commercialism of a lot of the propaganda brochures.

Still no sign of the missing £10 which I'd intended to put in the tin for the weekend. I can't've spent it.

Let's hope tomorrow's better, eh? Mondays under the new order have all been pretty bad, with the shining exception of last week's Bank Holiday Monday. Ah well.

Day 52

Wrote to the Jobclub bloke to try and find out what went wrong (after over a month - better late than never). Evening at M's.

Day 51

To town with M in the afternoon. Party in the evening, it wasn't very interesting.

Day 50

Out with M in the evening, ran into Theresa McCarthy who I haven't seen for ages. She mentioned she was applying for a post-graduate computer course, and M immediately insisted I do the same. I suspect in the cold light of morning it won't seem nearly so attractive.

Day 49

Went to the station to check on train times for tomorrow. In the evening listened to listened to On The Hour, went round to M's where she insisted on getting out our junior school class photos.

Walked drunkenly home reflecting that a year ago I was celebrating finishing my finals.

Day 48

Collected my Giro money. Watched a bit of Lovejoy and came up with an interesting theory that not watching telly causes eccentricity, as one isn't part of the psychic gestalt.

Day 47

Went round to mum's for lunch - just as I arrived, she returned from wherever she'd been, having been given a lift by B, who I haven't seen for months. Talked to him for half an hour.

Day 46

Walton was great - swam in the sea, drank warm canned Lambrusco and mineral water, ate French bread, smoked, built sand-castles. Barbecue at J's in the evening.

Day 45

Read The Road To Wigan Pier again. Went round to mum's in the afternoon. While I was there M rang inviting me for drinks with her and J. Borrowed £3 from mum and went.

We agreed to go down to the seaside tomorrow Bank Holiday - must be up early tomorrow. Home via mum's again to find my swimsuit.

Day 44

Short thunderstorm after tea. Out with M and J in the evening. Spent a long time talking to quite an old woman and her boyfriend/stepson.

Day 43

Went down town with M. She was going out with her ex again in the evening, so I read Lucky Jim and Tortilla Flat.

Day 42

Cycled to Gt Saffield and back. Still hot and clear, very hot in fact.

Day 41

Went out for a long bike ride. On way back met M in Galen Lane, talked for about an hour.

Day 40

Felt much better today, perhaps because of strange dream that I was back in my student bedroom which was full of people from 6th form. I was so angry - I had a hammer and I was hitting them with it and shouting 'Get out you bastards'.

About 4.30 the bike shop rang; my bike was finally ready. Cycled round to M's. She was wearing a Newcastle football shirt.

Day 39

No word from the bike shop.

Mondays are a bit of a pain in this routine - the first in a fortnight I can usually afford to go out, but it's purposeless; the second I am depressed by signing on. I wish there were some real way to get a congenial job or even anything else to do. Still, at least I've got the extra £8/fortnight these days.

Day 38

Went for a long walk in the afternoon, came back past M's to see if she'd got back yet, but her car wasn't there so presumably she hadn't. In the evening listened to the phone-in for the first time in ages.

Day 37

Rang the bike shop in the morning, still not ready. In the afternoon to the library, called in at the bike shop - come back on Monday. In fact they took my number and offered to ring me when it was ready.

Day 36

Went to collect my bike. It wasn't ready.

Day 35

Took my bike to the shop again, this time it was open. Should be ready tomorrow. Walked back in intense heat.

Day 34

Collected my Giro. Took my bike to be repaired, found the shop closed. Came back.

Day 33

Went for a long walk.

Day 32

Dreamt I was in Wentworth. Woke up. Signed on.

Day 31

A pity M's gone away again, I had got quite fond of her. Got to sign on tomorrow. Ah well, a chance to go to the library at least. Roll on next week, I can take it.

Day 30

Went round to M's. She was watching the FA Cup final with some bloke I've never seen before. Coming back it struck me how unusual it was to be out at at 5.30 pm on Saturday, felt like I was 14 or 15 again.

Day 29

Another good day, plucked from the jaws of Fate. Went round to mum's - after my last visit she'd found a tenner on the floor. We couldn't work out whose it was so we split it between us. That left me £16 so I was able to go out with M and J and have a great evening. Really drunk now.

Day 28

Went to Asda via the new footbridge: admired the view from the top. To M's in the evening, watched Harry Enfield. 10 months 1 day of unemployment.

Day 27

Went to Southend with M and her brother as he wanted to look at mountain bikes. We went on to Hadleigh Castle (which I'd never heard of before). It was a beautiful Spring afternoon, sunny and very clear. You could see right into Kent and just make out the bridge at Tilbury. The tide was right up and the sun was shining off the estuary. Canvey Island actually looked like an island and the coastal flats spread out below the castle. We climbed over the stones, looked at the remaining towers and were generally impressed.

Day 26

Beautiful spring evening - went for a walk down the river with M, past the old weir where we had a fag and talked about how simple things used to be.

Day 25

A year since that very dull but virtuous Bank Holiday. This holiday was altogether sunnier and more pleasant. Flipped through my Private Eye collection.

Day 24

Not such a bad day for a Sunday really. What will next week bring me?

Day 23

Was left to my own devices in the evening.

Day 22

Now 36 people have been killed in Los Angeles. As the bloke on the news said, Bush has now sent troops into Panama, Iraq and LA. Capitalism in its last phase, I hope. Just now I heard Rodney King, the black bloke who was beaten up by the police to start with, talking to the world's media and generally saying 'Please stop.'

Re-read What Katy Did; some great ironic moments that I'd missed before.

Day 21

Went out for a walk in the evening, met M. She'd finished her exams and was very drunk and happy. Went round and watched Harry Enfield and had a rollie.

Now sixteen people have been killed in Los Angeles in the riots.

Day 20

Waited for and got my Giro. M came round in the afternoon.

Day 19

Giro tomorrow: I should have £38 free after necessities. I'm saving £5 a fortnight by changing to rollies.

D's letter may well come too - these things have a habit of arriving with the vital green oblong.

Day 18

They elected Betty Boothroyd as the new Speaker today. Ted Heath (now knighted) conducted the proceedings (as Father of the House). It was a strange occasion - nice to see T.H. gaining recognition again. Perhaps Labour will now wake up and realise they have 70 more MPs.

Day 17

Got the paper; was so annoyed by an article in the supplement that I burnt it. I am often provoked to violent rage by things in the Observer, but as so often during the uni years I can never quite resolve to get the Independent On Sunday instead. (Although about a year ago I frequently went up to the garage for the IOS about 4pm, bored out of my skull by revision.)

Got to sign on tomorrow. And to do something soon about those dismal Jobclub failures.

Day 16

IPSWICH ARE PROMOTED!

Day 15

A good Friday. Rang up M to see how her revision was going: went round for the afternoon. Had a long conversation. S came round while I was there and told us all about orthodontistry.

Day 14

One of those moments when you realise things are as bad as they seem. Broke into my emergency tin and spent £2.40 on 4 Skols. £14.30 left.

Day 13

Walked into town again, same thing again. What's going on? Three doors - one locked and the room empty, one the Gents, one with frosted glass and marked 'Private'.

Day 12

Walked to the Jobclub, found it closed.

Day 11

Nice warm sunny Bank Holiday. Jobclub thing tomorrow: you never know, it might turn something up, and at least it'll be something to do.

Now Benny Hill is dead. They're dropping like flies.

Day 10

Thought perhaps the Jobclub on Tuesday might yield some results - I might get the job of administrating it.

Frankie Howerd is dead. Titter no more.

£15.70 left.

Day 9

After dinner went into town to the library, found it closed. Went round to M's, gave her the £3.20 I owed her from forgetting my money yesterday.

Day 8

To Colchester in the evening. H. drove very dangerously and when I pointed this out he was so annoyed he ordered me out of the car. I called his bluff by asking him to drop me off at a phone box, and he relented.

Went to this pub called The Hole in the Wall, packed with studenty types. Good view from the balcony.

Day 7

Terrible news in the morning - I've got to join the 'Jobclub' on Tuesday.

Good episode of Pris. Shame to see Jude back inside though.

Day 6

Collected my giro - £65, a £2.20 increase rather than £4.40. Discussed this with mum, who reckons it's been calculated from April 6th. Spent £14 and put aside £9 each for this weekend and next weekend.

S. rang offering to provide drink and food if I visited, so I'd only have to pay for the fare. Of course I can't afford that, so I pretended to be very depressed over a mythical poll tax demand and said I couldn't face going anywhere 'for the next few months'.

Day 5

Went for a walk in the afternoon.

Giro tomorrow - not such a bad wait again this time.

Day 4

Went to sign on. Borrowed £1.60 from mum for ½oz. of Old Holborn. M came round saying she felt depressed and paranoid, gave her tea, roll-ups and sympathy.

Can of lager with dad in the evening.

Day 3

Managed to read the papers. Realised that from my next Giro I should get the income support increase for being 22.

Day 2

From the bits of the news I couldn't avoid hearing I gather Major Major Major Major has reshuffled the cabinet and there've been two massive bombs in London.

Day 1

Tories eventually got an overall majority of 21 (down about 70, which isn't bad). Neil Kinnock is 'considering his position'. Refused to watch or listen to the news all day except to hear the final result.

Went to Asda for Private Eye; felt unwell.