Day 554

M came round about 4.40; she told a tale of violence in Newcastle which I didn't like the sound of much.

When did I start finding going out so repellent? At uni and when I came back it was everything, so much so that when we went out on Friday I'd fret because there'd be nothing going on on Saturday. I think I lost interest when that started happening. And of course all this angst is many times multiplied by having not much to do. Even if there were any jobs to look for it couldn't take up much time and there's a limit to the amount of entertainment you can provide for yourself.

I must say that all in all things have turned out disappointingly since uni, and that itself wasn't as good as I expected. 3 years there and 2¼ years on the dole. On the other hand, I have got somewhere to live etc. On the other hand again though, I've had no luck at all in the jobs field. Every time something promising turns up it evaporates, like the Workshop and the NVQ's. 'Do a course' people say. In what? Where? To get what job? When? Paid for by who?